It can be very frustrating going through life trying to get your Needs met by others without satisfaction. This can feel like an emotional roller coaster at times if you are continually expecting others to meet your Needs.
Notice whether you have ever communicated your Needs to the people important in your life because it is easy to assume they should know what your Needs are if they care and love you. Everyone has different Needs and it is imperative that you communicate these to stop any unfulfilled expectations you may have.
The first step to getting your Needs met is to become aware about what they are. The next step is to take responsibility in meeting your own Needs and also to communicate these with the people you feel safe with, who will help you get them met.
Once you begin to get your Needs met on a regular basis, there will come a time when you will notice your Needs will automatically be met because you have set up your life in a way that you, and the people around you, will support, encourage and believe in you and your goals.
Between your Stimulus and your Response
YOU have the power to CHOOSE.
I would like to take you through the journey I took when first identifying my Needs. This was at the time in my life when I was going through a divorce and recreating my own vision as a single woman taking a good look at what was truly important to me. I was also in transition of setting up my international coaching business with the intention of getting off to a strong start according to my life and business vision, values and passion to create a sustainable business.
In answering the Getting your Needs Met questions, I must say that I did find this quite a challenge because I had to get honest with myself about what I truly needed in my life, to be my best. As I became more aware of what my Needs were, I then took responsibility in communicating what I needed and set up my life automatically for these to be met.
List of Needs
|Being taken care of|
|Being cared about|
A need is not a want, a wish or a should. It is something you need in order to be your best and to live your life to your fullest potential.
A tip on how to identify your needs is to look into your life and notice where you may react, for example, turn away from people, get angry, gossip, withhold love, not communicate something that is bothering you, not being totally honest, feel disrespected etc.
Getting your Needs Met
List your top 4 Needs and answer the following questions.
- Why is this Need important for it to be my personal Need?
- When I get this Need met, who do I become and how do I act?
- How do I feel about myself, about others and about life when I do not get this Need met?
- Where am I getting this Need met and where am I not getting this need met?
- What 3 changes am I willing to make to get this Need fully met?
It is important to know that we all have Needs at different times in our lives. Every 12 months I redo the Needs questions to see if there are any Needs I feel I want to focus on to be at my best consistently. So if you find yourself reacting to a situation in your life, there will always be an unmet Need just under the surface screaming to be met. This is a great time to sit down and identify what that need is and answer the questions on Getting your Needs Met.
Summary in Getting your Needs Met
- List your top 4 Needs.
- Answer the 5 questions outlined in Getting your Needs Met section.
- Design an automatic reminder based on Question 5: actions on getting your Needs met with support of a trusted friend, family member or coach.
If you are ready to breakthrough reaction mode and get your needs met faster than what you would on your own, contact me to discuss your requirements http://annettestanton.com/contact/
With over 35 years experience being on the leading edge, Master Coach, Transformational Leader, Speaker, Author of The Power of Vision – I am passionate about coaching you to gain clarity of vision, develop confidence to unleash your full potential and live with freedom in your personal and business life.