Creating Emotional Intelligence and Mental Strength

Success in today’s market goes beyond intellectual intelligence and mental strength. In fact, emotional intelligence is the revolutionary leadership style built on futurist thinking that challenges the status quo of leadership, teamwork, management and partnership.

Studies have proven that people with high emotional intelligence have greater mental health, job performance and leadership skills.

Emotional intelligence has been around since the year dot. It has just been given a new label that can be heard and understood in the business world today.

Leadership language has changed over the last 10 years. We use to look at it in terms of data.  Now we look at it in terms of the story we tell. How to create a connection with the people we’re leading. We do that by being consciously aware of the choices we make every single day.

Emotional Intelligence is essential for excellence.

Emotional intelligence is the capability of individuals to recognize and understand your own emotions as well as others. Discern between different feelings, use emotional intelligence to guide thinking and behaviour, and manage and/or adjust emotions to adapt to environments or achieve one’s goals.

One of the greatest challenges when it comes to high emotional intelligence is recognizing the emotions of others and to be aware when your own internal reaction is happening. To remain still in mind and body, making sure you remain fully engaged and connected. Many struggle with this by reacting and disconnecting.

Creating Emotional Intelligence and Mental Strength

Why is emotional intelligence important?

An organization, which is emotionally intelligent, has staff that is motivated, productive, efficient, aligned with business and committed. This creates a team who are more effective, confident, likeable, happy and rewarded.

Emotional intelligence is applicable to every human interaction in business: from staff motivation to customer service, from brainstorming to company presentations. But the subject is far deeper and wider which affects the overall quality of your life.

Creating high emotional intelligence will develop greater awareness to understand and deal with:

  • how we assess people
  • how relationships develop
  • how our beliefs generate our experience
  • how to deal with resistance to change, power struggles, judgment, competition
  • how to access your vision, inspiring leadership, influential success, and much more.

A business, in which the staff is emotionally intelligent, is one, which enables them to work together to maximum effectiveness. This can only increase the organisation’s success.

What skills/knowledge will create high emotional intelligence?

  • Learn ways to better manage your emotional state creating self-motivation.
  • The ability to recognize and understand your own emotions, as well as others.
  • Develop interpersonal skills with greater self-awareness.
  • Learn skills to regulate your thoughts with natural empathy.
  • Identify what your focus blocks are and practice creating mental strength.
  • Gain conscious awareness of the thoughts, behaviours and who you are being.
  • Develop your unique ways to cope with stress and create more balance.
  • Learn to trust and act on your gut instincts and intuition.
  • Create stillness of mind for deeper listening to respond from a place of powerful presence.
  • Commit to full engagement by being present and connected.

The benefits of emotional intelligence:

  • Communicate more succinctly with everyone around you.
  • Better creativity and innovation.
  • Deepened level of employee commitment and engagement.
  • Improve your personal workplace performance.
  • Retention of valued employees.
  • Improved productivity and profitability.
  • Improved mental strength enhancing resiliency.
  • Improved communication and relating ability.
  • Harmonious culture and change management.
  • Fulfilling and connected relationships.
  • Authentic living.

If you know it is time to create high emotional intelligence and mental strength and become the person you know you truly want to be, contact me today for an introductory coaching conversation. www.annettestanton.com/contact/

Once you have read the article, leave a comment and let me know…

What’s the single most important action you can take right now towards creating high emotional intelligence and mental strength?

If you know of a leader who is being challenged and they know it is time to step up and lead with high emotional intelligence, please share this article.

Live a Stress Less Life

In your busy daily life, it is very important to make time for some form of relaxation. This can help to reduce the effects of stress on your body and your mind. If you take on the practice of daily relaxation, you will feel much more in control of your life. Relaxation involves both the body and the mind. To work on one is to work on the other. Even if you choose to take 10 deep conscious breaths every day as your form of relaxation, then that is better than doing nothing at all.

Relaxation does not mean being lazy. It plays an important role in the rejuvenation of your body and quietening of the mind. Taking time out for yourself may be a challenge for you. You might feel a sense of guilt about it. This is normal, especially if you are not yet practised in doing things just for you. You might even find that the challenge is in ‘being’ with yourself, especially if you are the type of person who continually needs to be ‘doing’ things with others or for others and the thought of being alone is not inviting. It does take practice and the more you do your chosen form of relaxation, the more you will want to spend time with yourself.

The benefits of daily relaxation go beyond the obvious one of reducing stress. You will also gain clarity of mind, your creativity and intuition will unfold, you will deal with challenges with much more inner peace, you will have more energy . . . the list goes on.

Live a Stress Life

 

Simple Relaxation Techniques

After many years of practising different quick and easy forms of relaxation, I would like to share with you some of the ones that have helped me to maintain a stress less life.

Mirror Work

Look into your eyes in the mirror every day for 1-2 minutes. Connect with yourself by staying focused on your eyes. Notice how you might want to judge yourself and your facial features. Let it go and keep coming back to your eyes. Take deep breaths whilst looking into your eyes and connecting with yourself. If you hear any negative head talk during this process, write it down after your 1-2 minutes is up and create positive affirmations from your negative head talk. This is your subconscious coming to the forefront, indicating beliefs that you may need to work on.

Conscious Breathing

Sit in an upright position or lie down. Close your eyes if you wish. Concentrate on your breathing, in through your nose and releasing the breath out through your mouth. Say in your head: “I’m breathing in . . . I’m breathing out . . .” as you stay focused on your breath. This will slow down your mind and reduce feelings of anxiety. Conscious breathing is beneficial if you are lying in bed and feeling restless. This will help you to relax for a better sleep. Try it.

Nostril Breathing

Place the thumb of your right hand over your right nostril. Take a deep breath in through the left nostril. Place the right index finger over the left nostril and release the breath out of the right nostril. Repeat this 5 times using your right hand, and then repeat the same process using your left hand. Notice how quickly any anxious feelings dissipate.

Open Eye Candle Meditation

Light your favourite candle and place it on a table in front of you. Place yourself in a comfortable sitting position with your back upright. Gaze into the flame of the candle. Take slow, long deep breaths as you hold a soft gaze on the flame. Notice the calm and serene feelings that pour through your body. Stay with the gaze from 5 minutes to 20 minutes or more if you desire.

Walking in Nature

When you are enjoying your daily walk out in the beautiful sunshine, practice being 100% present to nature. Let any thoughts drift through the mind and focus on the trees, the roses in the garden, all the nature surrounding you. Every step you take, be conscious and feel your body moving. Look into the sky and feel the expansion of your chest as you take in the next breath. The miracle of nature mirrors the growth of you. Just as through nurturing, a seed grows, so through nurturing yourself, you will flourish. Say your positive affirmations while you are walking and notice how tall you feel.

If you sick and tired of continually running on empty, feeling drained in your energy levels and this is affecting your productivity and efficiency at work with no energy left for yourself at the end of the day, contact me today for an introductory coaching conversation. www.annettestanton.com/contact/

Once you have read the article, leave a comment and let me know…

What’s the single most important action you can take right now towards creating a reserve of energy levels each day?

The Game Changer: Change your Life with Powerful Statements

Yes, you can change your life. I know this is a very profound statement and I say it because I have done it myself. Until I was about 30 years old, I was so shy that I hardly ever spoke, and I lived a lot of my life in my head. My only self-expression was through my physical body, as an excellent sportswoman.

I started to wonder why I could express myself naturally as a sportswoman, but not in my personal and professional life. This was a challenge to me because at that time I spent a lot of my life worrying about my past (which I could not do anything about) or thinking about the future (which had not even occurred yet).

As I observed myself in my sporting arena, what stood out the most was that I had to respond to the plays spontaneously in the moment, otherwise the opportunity was lost. That was my breakthrough! I was 100% present in the moment on and off the field as the captain coach, leading the team and holding on to the higher purpose of the game. Obviously, I had trained my level of fitness and skills to respond quickly.

My greatest challenge in my personal and professional life was living in the present moment. Once I started to practise being present, I began to hear my predominantly negative self-statements, which were obviously based on my fears of all the ‘what ifs’ (which, by the way, never happened). What a waste of energy and time in my life that was!

I decided it was time to get serious about this positive self-statement stuff! I admit I was still a little apprehensive about affirmations because I had attempted to do them a few years before, without success. Now I realise that I had always done them in a very reactive state when I either felt negative or frustrated – and that I’d soon given up, wondering why affirmations never worked for me.

Once I began to do my affirmations more effectively, I had to keep saying them, as the conscious mind will only take on the thoughts and words you consistently tell yourself. This will eventually become a part of who you are naturally, as a new – and rewarding – habit.

I will take you through the steps I took that helped me make the changes. To get the maximum from my experience, why not go through the steps with me now? I have used the true-life example of developing my self-confidence in my personal and professional life.

The Game Changer: Change your Life with Powerful Statements

Step 1

I wrote down the negative head talk and became conscious of what I was automatically saying to myself, about others and myself.

e.g. “I am not confident” . . .  “I wish I looked and acted confidently like her or him”  . . . “I am not very good at . . .”

Step 2

Then I changed the wording of those negative self-statements into positive present tense affirmations and wrote them on palm cards to keep in the office, car, fridge etc. as a reminder.

e.g.

I am confident

I act confidently

I am great at . . . 

Step 3

I chose to say the affirmations as many times as possible during my day no matter what. I said them with feeling, emotion and belief, as though I had already achieved them.

Tip:

Choose a maximum of three affirmations to say each time. If you do not feel comfortable with the affirmation, you may need to change the wording to suit you. Keep saying your chosen affirmations until you feel you own them and your life begins to show up that way.

Step 4

I asked myself, “Who do I need to become to achieve this?” Then I made a list of what confident people do, how they act, what they wear, how they walk. I started taking on all those actions, like walking tall down the street looking people in the eyes, smiling and acting confidently (yes, fake it until you make it – definitely works), speaking to people even when I felt nervous.

 

With daily commitment in practising to be confident, I built a new habit, which changed my life, and I naturally became confident. The new me went from being a shy person to becoming a public speaker, moving interstate and developing my first business, stepping out of my comfort zone and participating in adventurous events such as jumping out of a plane skydiving, just to mention a few.

I cannot tell you how long or short a time it took because there was no line to cross over that marked the difference between ‘shy’ and ‘confident’. I remember one day just noticing how confident I now was and it felt so natural and humbling.

We are all made up of our habits. I decided to make being confident a new habit, purely by taking on new behaviours and acting out ‘confidence’ until it was a part of who I naturally am today. If I can do it, I know you can too. Think about what habit you would like to change and start taking on the new actions until they are a part of who you are. Does a little part of my shyness still pop up in my life every so often? Yes! Of course, it does and in that moment I remind myself that I am not committed to being that way.

Who are you committed to being in your life? Become the game changer today!

If you know it is time to change your game in life and become the person you know you truly want to be, contact me today for an introductory coaching conversation. www.annettestanton.com/contact/

Once you have read the article, leave a comment and let me know…

What’s the single most important action you can take right now towards becoming the game changer in your life?

If you know of a leader who is being challenged and they know it is time to step up and become the game changer, please share this article.

High Emotional Intelligence for Next Level Success

Did you know that you will already have foundational systems in your everyday life that are working for you? The difference in growing upon your foundational success is whether you are conscious about the systems you do have that are working for you. Or are you living every moment unconsciously reacting to circumstances always looking at what is not working for you?

Foundational Success is the rock solid personal and professional systems you put in place so you have something solid to build on each and every day. Especially whenever challenges come your way, if you have your foundation set up in your whole life, then you will have a high emotional intelligence. When you have a high emotional intelligence you will stop reacting to life’s challenges and in that moment be calm enough to consciously choose your response.

Yes, you will be able to respond without reacting to the situation in front of you. Reactions to life’s challenges causes major stress and the seesaw feeling. Every action you take is a part of a system you have set up whether it be conscious or unconscious.

Start to become conscious about the systems that are already working for you and then take a look at the actions you are sporadically taking because of reactional thinking. Then decide whether there is a better way of implementing the action and if it needs to be a repetitive system for your success. In a nutshell, it is about knowing and living your standards (the things you will and won’t accept of yourself) combined with clear boundaries (the things you will and won’t accept of others) and having the courage to continually communicate these coming from love and respect for yourself and others.

Some of the many things that set you up for reactional thinking are:

  • Not setting up your day with priority actions and doing the important things first.
  • Not placing suitable time scheduling around your priorities.
  • Not living your own standards – being everything to everybody.
  • Getting into the habit of overpromising and under-delivering.
  • Holding back on clear communication – ‘playing the guessing and assuming game’.
  • Saying ‘Yes’ when you really want to say ‘No’.
  • Not setting clear defined boundaries coming from love and respect for yourself and others.
  • Not making quality time to chill out and be with your family and loved ones.
  • Not making time to do something for yourself each day that brings you joy, fun and lightness.
  • Not having a clear vision and being disorganised.
  • Living and working amongst clutter.

Here is a simple equation to remember for next level success with high emotional intelligence.

High Emotional Intelligence for Next Level Success

To capitalise on your resources, it is paramount to have high emotional intelligence. If not, then you may be sabotaging your next level success no matter how much work you put in on the outside. Begin to take stock by becoming consciously aware of your own reactions because they are an indication that you are not living your standards and you may be crossing your own boundaries and allowing others to cross them.

If your next level success is stagnant and you find yourself not standing on solid foundations with high emotional intelligence, contact me today for an introductory coaching conversation. www.annettestanton.com/contact/

Once you have read the article, leave a comment and let me know…

What’s the single most important action you can take right now towards building strong foundations with high emotional intelligence?

If you know of a leader or an emerging leader who is not playing a bigger a strong game through the power of high emotional intelligence, please share this article.

Busy Work Life: Is Your Health and Energy Suffering?

Your health and physical energy is always a great guidance for you to see whether you are doing the important things that feed positive energy into your mind, body and soul. If you are feeling low in energy or feeling your health is suffering, then take a good look at what you are promising to do in your day and create plenty of space for yourself to breath, reflect and change your approach.

I have had many people come to me for coaching who are feeling low in energy and concerned about their health. They noticed how much they pushed themselves in their working life, so much so, that they did not make quality time to be with their family, never made time for themselves and very much concerned about their own health.

The truth is that they really do not want to have this year be the same as last year and their commitment is to work on 3 main areas to make these changes.

Busy Work Life: Is Your Health and Energy Suffering?

  1. Simple exercise and relaxation techniques that work for each individual because we all enjoy different forms of exercise. So be careful not to think you ‘should be’ doing a form of exercise based on what others have said to do or what you did 20 years ago. You have changed and it is important to listen to what your body is telling you to do today.

Most of you may know that my background is as a national sportswoman and being a high achiever, I learned about this the hard way – exercise today is a breeze and I listen to what my body needs. My past career was as a personal trainer and the most common thing I heard from people I worked with was that they felt like they had to ‘work hard’ to get results. This is not the truth. It is all about consistency and doing what you enjoy so that it becomes a natural way of life – not a yo-yo situation – take away all the push, relax and enjoy the process as a way of life. Think of it as your commitment to having a healthy lifestyle for life.

  1. The other area we are working on is how to set your day up for success by ‘under-promising and over delivering’. A great tip on setting your day up is to set it up the night before by acknowledging what you did get done during that day, and then choose 3-5 highest priority actions and set these up in the next day’s diary. Add plenty of white space inside your diary for the unexpected. Place lunch breaks in your diary and get away from the office to clear your mind and rejuvenate your batteries for the afternoon.

Now, this is the most important part – take a look at your diary and notice whether you feel heavy and stressed or light and accomplishable. If you feel heavy when looking at your day’s diary set up, then you will definitely set your day up to fail, even before it has begun. Let’s take away the stress by setting up realistic time frames that work for you. Stop trying to push through and collapsing at the end of the day hanging out for that release of some kind.

Then visualise your day exactly the way you would like it to go based on what you have placed in your diary and see yourself going home with plenty of energy to do those things you want to do with your family, time for yourself, exercise etc.

  1. Set up quality time with your family, children, pets, whoever is important to you on a daily basis and ‘be present’ with them. Also, put this time in your diary and do not let yourself down and the people most important in your life.

Become the designer of your life and business success. Keep it super simple as you set up consistent foundations as your daily practice for sustainable energy and vitality.

If your productivity and performance levels are being hindered due to your lack of energy and vitality, contact me today for an introductory coaching conversation. www.annettestanton.com/contact/

Once you have read the article, leave a comment and let me know…

What’s the single most important action you can take right now towards living with sustainable energy and vitality?

If you know of a leader who is struggling with staying focused due to their lack of energy and vitality, please share this article.

What is your Definition of Real Success?

I was having a coaching conversation recently with a group of business leaders who were in the process of defining what Success really looked like to them. One business owner soon realised that Success was not the tangible things that she had been striving for over the many years of being in business – they were all intangible. This surprised her greatly.

It’s interesting and certainly exhausting how you may be chasing something in life that you think will make you happier, more successful or whatever your hopeful reasoning is. You may already have what Success truly is to you without even realising it. You may be moving so fast in the busy pace of your own life that you find yourself skimming over the surface.

Notice how much you may be telling yourself things like; when I have more time I will spend more time with my wife or husband or children, all I want is a little peace of mind, I want to slow down and make time for me. Most people escape from the busy pace of life by going on holidays only to find that when they return, they jump straight back into the same old routine with nothing changing.

Ask yourself:

 “What is true Success to me coming from the inside out?”

State 3 ways of Being (according to your Values) that you are going to commit to from today.

What is your Definition of Real Success

Yes, the outside results will move towards you when you move towards it coming from a state of Being. This is what natural attraction is all about and I can tell you, it is so much easier to live your life coming from this angle instead of pushing, striving, worrying and trying to control things.

Practice letting go and being responsible for taking inspired action in the areas of what is truly important to you and listen to that part of yourself that is telling you to chill out and make time for you. Trust and listen to your intuitive gut feelings and most of all, act on them.


What True Success to Me is…?

  • Success to me is when I am fully present connecting with every person I come into contact with, being in a state of presence.
  • Success to me is when I am naturally expressing my wisdom, strengths, talents and unique gifts through my speaking, coaching, and writing.
  • Success to me is when I am honouring my inner knowing by listening, trusting and taking inspired action in each moment being in a state of grace, flow, and ease.

When I live life according to what true success is to me, life opens up in so many ways that I could never have planned for, even if I tried. The perfect opportunities present themselves, I meet the right people at the right time and I live more in my flow. This is certainly a much easier way to live life instead of trying to force and control everything. I call it ‘Living in the Zone.’

If you want to gain clarity of vision and direction, making sure you live with your definition of real success, contact me today for an introductory coaching conversation. www.annettestanton.com/contact/

Once you have read the article, leave a comment and let me know…

What’s the single most important action you can take right now towards living your definition of real success?

If you know of a leader who is not living their true definition of success, please share this article.

 

 

The Vital Link to Inspired Success

Have you gone from goal to goal, achieved success in many areas of your life; and wondering why you are still not happy? What’s missing for you?

Often this is because you are so focused on where you are going in life that you have not stopped to smell the roses along the way. It is important to be grateful for what you do have in your life today, the people who are important to you, the clients you already have, your current financial position, your family, the action steps you are taking, your health, the knowledge you have, all the life experiences you have had, and whatever else you can think of to be grateful for.

Yes, that means the everyday small things that bring you joy and energy in your life, including the small actions you are taking towards realising your vision.

In the past, my life always felt as though it was dangling like a carrot on a string out in front of me to chase; I was always going for the next goal, the next award, the next level and still not happy. Yes, I had heard people talk about ‘being grateful for what I had in my life now’ and ‘reflecting on what I had already achieved’. I always let these suggestions slide off me with an, ‘it’s not enough yet’, attitude.

What I was really saying was ‘I wasn’t enough yet’. This also meant that everything I had achieved in my life was not enough.  I took so much for granted. When I realised that, I decided to make a list of everything I had achieved in my life as far back as I could remember.

The list started really slowly as I reflected on my life. The more I started to write, the more I remembered, from little things like getting up early one morning to watch the sun come up, acknowledging a colleague, helping a family member; to the bigger things like being a national sporting representative, starting my own business, publishing my book and speaking overseas.

As I looked back at the list I had a powerful feeling of accomplishment within myself. This helped diminish the limiting beliefs I had of ‘it’s not enough yet’ and ‘I wasn’t enough’; when in actual fact I was ‘more than enough’ and had ‘more than enough’ in my life.

When you are in a state of ‘it’s not enough yet’, you will continually feel that way – and life will also show up that way.

Did you know that when you live your life with the ‘it’s not enough’ theme constantly being played, you are actually affirming to yourself that ‘you are not enough’?

I learnt this lesson myself when I first hired my master coach. I remember telling my coach that I had to learn more about certain topics before I could move forward in my business.

Sure, education is important, but I actually had a lot of knowledge, which I was not using. My coach gave me two challenges. The first challenge was to write the affirmation ‘I am enough’ and place it in my office so that I could see it every day. I resisted this at first because I truly believed I had to look for more answers outside of myself.

The second challenge was to trust and take the next step I knew I wanted to take, based on the knowledge I already had. You see I was always one of those people who loved to learn by reading books and attending seminars, but did I action what I had learnt? Not to its fullest capacity.

When I started trusting, I realised that I undervalued the amount of knowledge I did have and kept looking outside myself for more knowledge. It became a habit because I loved learning things, but what good was my knowledge if I did not put it into practice?

Due to this new way of thinking, I was able to identify my values-based vision and goals from the inside out – not just going for a vision outside of myself. Life and business transformed and evolved naturally because I stopped chasing after the elusive vision. The truth is, your vision will always naturally expand, although if you continue to live like it is something outside of yourself, then that is where it will stay. The chase will be forever with those feelings of ‘it’s not enough yet’.

Once I realised this, I had to consciously practice catching myself whenever I looked outside for more, to then come back inside to honour my values-based vision.

Are you living your values-based vision? Notice whether you are getting swept along with other people’s vision and values, as this is not sustainable to your inspired success.

Notice in what areas you may be looking outside yourself for more knowledge, information, wisdom, opportunities etc. that you already have. You are already enough in many areas of your life. You only need to bring it to your awareness and then acknowledge yourself and the actions you are already taking.

Coaching Tip

One of the practices that may support you (as it did me) is to write five things you are grateful for each day. So if you feel as though your wheels are spinning and life is moving fast, stop to smell the roses by taking on this daily practice. This can be done even in your thoughts just before you turn the light out at night.

When you are grateful for everything in your life, as it is today, you will feel an immediate expansion of your energy and start to attract more of the good things in life that you truly desire. Why not start a gratitude journal on a daily basis and notice how quickly your life will change?

Best Practice – Supportive Habits

Do you ever feel you don’t have any self-control, that your impulses are driving your behaviour? In other words, are you taking actions in a lot of areas in life, but not in the areas that you say are important to you? Remember that we are all made up of our habits. If you want to change your habits, it takes commitment and a conscious practice until the new behaviour becomes a new habit, which supports you. Did you know that it takes 30 consecutive days to change a habit?

For example, you may have set up a goal of wanting to spend more time with your family, but you keep allowing work to get in the way. In this situation, the natural habit is spending extra time doing work.  The first step in changing this habit is to design a new behaviour (action) that will allow you to spend more time with the family. For example, you might allocate Sundays to doing something special with the family, plus you could agree to turn off the phone so that you can fully enjoy the experience. Make sure you communicate this plan to your family so that they can help keep you accountable to your commitment.

I work with many people who want to also have a life outside of work, yet the recurring pattern I see and hear is that they never seem to get on top of things and before they know it, time goes by and they miss out on a lot of what’s important to them. The most common things I hear people say they want to spend more time on are; exercise to improve their health, fitness and increase energy levels, spend quality time with their wife/husband, time to listen and play with their children, quality time with family and time out for themselves.

Notice how easy it is to spend time doing the unimportant things first. You may be concerned about the paperwork that has built up and think that ‘if I just get on top of this one, then I will make time for me and my family’. What do you notice happens? Do you continually feel like you are never on top of things? If so, take a look at the three simple steps on how you can change habits that do not support you in the next section.

The 3 Steps to Changing Habits

Step 1 – Awareness

The first step to change is becoming aware of your habits and what your triggers are. Most of the time we are so busy ‘doing’ life that we do not take time out to become aware of who is it we are, what is it we are doing, how we are doing it and why we are doing it. You will never become aware if you keep on doing whatever you are doing, without becoming consciously aware of your actions. Awareness is the first major step towards change. Once you register your awareness, then you can go to step 2 to accept and release your habits.

Step 2 – Accept and Release

When you become aware of your habits and triggers, it is only then that you can accept and release the habits that do not support you in your life. You accept and release a habit purely by stating that this habit does not support you in your life and you choose to now let it go. It is easy to be attached to a habit because this is the only way you consciously know how to manage your life. The good news is that you taught yourself through habit in the first place and you can choose a new habit at any time. It is normal to feel as though you are stepping into the unknown because that is exactly what takes place in the releasing of habits. This takes us into step 3 of re-creating a new habit to replace the old habit.

Step 3 – Re-Create

This is the fun part, of re-creating your habit. It is important to remember that when changing a habit you must replace it with a new, consciously supportive habit. Consciously choose the new habit you would like to start practising in place of your old habit.

Let’s say your old habit is ‘not listening to people fully’ and you are always ready to speak over them, even before they have finished saying what they wanted to say.

You then may decide for your new habit, that every time someone speaks to you, you will stay totally present, listening to what they have to say – and that you will only answer them after they have stopped speaking. Sounds easy, doesn’t it? Try it yourself and notice what happens. The next time you are speaking to someone, you will probably jump right into the conversation and repeat your old habit. You then might walk away, noticing that you did it again and didn’t fully listen. The second time you notice, you want to jump in and you catch yourself. Great, this is the power of becoming consciously present to your actions and reactions. The third time you will become fully conscious and choose your new habit at the beginning of the conversation.

To speed up the process of re-creating yourself, take on the practice of visualising yourself living the new habit in its perfect form now. See yourself being the person you want to be and see yourself having the results you want.

Best Practice – Supportive Habits

Coaching Tip

Become aware of your habits and choose new habits that support your energy and focus each day. The list below may give you some ideas on where to start looking.

  • Communication challenges
  • Career you do not like
  • Not clear on your direction
  • Health problems
  • Money challenges
  • Never enough time to do the things you want to do
  • Always feeling under pressure
  • Not always being honest
  • Lack of energy
  • Family problems
  • Lack of confidence
  • Lack of commitment
  • Being overweight
  • Being argumentative
  • Always worrying about something
  • Giving too much to other people
  • Sense that you have to get ahead
  • Plan to get fit but never do
  • Always wanting to be in control
  • Feelings of being lonely
  • Comparing yourself to others
  • Feelings of not being worthy
  • Weak and submissive behaviour
  • Aggressive and dominating behaviour
  • Not allowing other people to support you
  • Not being organised
  • Not doing what you say I’m going to do
  • Others…
Strengthen your Strengths

“Your natural strengths are the gift you have to offer the world.”

Most people do not acknowledge their own strengths, abilities and natural talents. Your strengths are the qualities or skills that you are generally good at, are drawn to and enjoy doing. When you clearly identify and acknowledge your own strengths, you will re-ignite a glow inside of you that will automatically strengthen your strengths.

You will miss out on a lot of life’s exciting opportunities that you know you would love to experience if you do not bring your strengths to the forefront. For example, you could miss out on applying for a new management position, asking someone you admire out for dinner or starting your own business. Your strengths will become weaknesses and lie dormant if you are not conscious of what they are – and especially if you do not utilise them in your life.

This reminds me of one of my clients, Sally, who was naturally very creative. She would paint, draw and design cards in her spare time. I said to her in one of our group coaching sessions that it was easy to see that her natural strength was being creative. Sally said that she could not see how that could be a strength because that was what she had always done in her spare time.

“How could it be strength when that was just how she was?”

I then asked her if she knew anyone else in her group of friends who did the same things in their spare time, to which she answered No. I explained that it is easy to not see our own strengths because they have become a part of who we naturally are. When Sally started to own her strength of creativity she started to share her artwork with others and even began to frame some of her work to hang in her new home.

Many people are busy putting themselves down and focusing on what they are not good at instead of focusing on what they are good at doing. When you focus on your strengths and utilise them to their fullest capacity you will be surprised at what you can do.

Let’s not forget your so-called ‘weaknesses’, as it’s important to be aware of these and to acknowledge them also. I do not consider weaknesses as a weakness. The thing about a weakness that most people do not realise is that it is only a part of you that you have not practised enough for it to become strength.

Notice how your strengths are strengths because you enjoy utilising them and they then come easily to you. Your weaknesses may be areas that you do not enjoy as much, so don’t be too hard on yourself if you choose not to have them become a strength. If a particular weakness is something that you would like to become strength, all you need to do is to learn and practice it until it becomes a part of your strengths.

Look for Strengths in your Whole Life

I was coaching Julie, who shared with me that when she was writing out her strengths, she noticed that they mainly related to her working career and experiences. This challenged Julie because while work was a major part of her life, she wanted to balance this more and look at strengths in other areas of her life.

So we explored this by looking at the balance wheel. Julie went to the gym regularly, so one of her strengths was looking after her well-being and fitness. Another obvious strength to me was that Julie was very well organised in having a routine that she was committed to maintaining. Another area we looked into was family and friends and the way Julie kept in contact with them on a regular basis even if they lived in another state or country. The strength, in this case, was staying connected with loved ones by keeping in touch over the phone, no matter where she lived in the world.

As Julie started to explore her strengths, I observed a glow in her eyes and a huge, engaging smile on her face. I acknowledged her for having a great smile. This was also a strength Julie had – and she was not even aware of it.

So you see your strengths are not just about your qualifications and work experiences. In fact, you need to have a look at all areas of your life. You may be a great father/mother, or easily connect with people, you may be a person who excels at routine and being organised, or you could be a great ideas person. Dare to expand yourself in becoming aware of your own strengths. Take a look at the list below giving some examples of strengths.

List of Strengths

  • Well organised person
  • Great smile
  • Committed person
  • Connect with people easily
  • Great communication skills
  • Open and honest
  • High standards
  • Great father/mother
  • Healthy and fit
  • Enthusiastic
  • Honest work ethics
  • Positive nature
  • High energised person
  • Loving wife/husband
  • Great systems in life/business/career
  • Put people before results
  • Very creative
  • Love life
  • Acknowledge self and others
  • Visionary
  • Balanced life
  • Genuine interest in others
  • Team player
  • Leader
  • Great manager

Coaching Tip

You have natural strengths, talents and abilities that you use every day. When you own who you are and what you do well, this will give you greater clarity of vision and confidence because you will know exactly why you do what you do.

Make a list of your top 10 strengths. Be really generous with yourself and write whatever comes to mind. Be mindful about where in our life you are expressing your strengths.

I encourage you to give yourself a boost of certainty and confidence by taking on the challenge of making a list of your top 30 strengths and let me know how you go.

By strengthening your strengths with conscious awareness and mindful action, you will gain clarity with natural confidence knowing Who you truly are and Why you do what you do.

There is no competition when you know Who you really are, What unique strengths you have developed and in What way you naturally express your strengths. This way of living will ultimately give you your purposeful Why each day.

Maximise Productivity with Your Success Cycle

Are you living in the ‘full on’ or ‘not at all’ cycle?

How often do you find yourself wasting heaps of your precious time, procrastinating over something you know will propel you forward?

Are you waiting for the extra time to appear, before you start to take action in a big way?

Yes, you may have heard it all before as to the best ways to stop procrastination in order to increase productivity. With the simplest way being to decide what you want to do and take action.

Sounds easy, doesn’t it! Yet, you may be asking yourself why don’t I ‘just do it’ – like the Nike slogan says?

Good question!

If it is as easy as it sounds, then we would all be doing it well, wouldn’t we!

I want to tell you that you are not alone with this very subject often being brought up for discussion inside my coaching conversations behind closed doors.

The real challenge is not fully in the decision-making or the action taking, it is mostly in the timing to maximise effort for greater effectiveness.

To take yourself to the next level of success with sustainable energy and strong foundations, it is important to know what Your Success Cycle is.

Let’s take away the ‘full on’ or ‘not at all’ syndrome from your life. We all have cycles in life. The problems is that we always tend to make ourselves wrong whenever we are not in a certain cycle like being ‘full on’ about something. What I learnt when I played sport at a national level was that I had to listen to my body energy cycle when training for an event. The cycle was low, moderate and high depending on pre-season, mid-season or post-season. This is a great analogy that we all can take on for sustainability in our own life and business choices.

Have you noticed at times there is something that needs to be done and you really do not feel like doing it, that when you get started slowly into it – how all of a sudden you find yourself really into it and actually enjoying what you are doing? This is because you are in the moment (out of your head) staying focussed on what you are doing.

You will not enjoy doing things when you are thinking about everything else that has to be done as this causes pressure and overwhelm on yourself. This is also one of the main reasons why we do not start something we know needs to be done or we really want to do because we are too busy complaining inside about everything else instead of focussing on one thing at a time.

Whenever you move your body you are shifting your own energy levels and also your own way of thinking in the moment. Using the analogy of sport and any form of exercise – generally, there is a warm-up phase that is required which not only prepares your body for exercise, it also prepares your mind. This happens through movement.

When I was a personal trainer, I would always ask my client this one crucial question “On a scale of 1-10 how does your body feel in energy levels right now?” They would normally answer something like…”Well I have had a hard day at work and I am feeling about a 5 out of 10″… my response was always – “Great! Let’s work a 5 out of 10 in your warm up – choose which cardio equipment you want to work on?” This is a very different approach to the old school way of pushing and driving yourself, which is what I use to do in my earlier training days and this would totally exhaust me by the end of the season.

So looking back, and changing my way of doing things, as I got older and wiser, I always found this was more of a sustainable approach. It certainly took away the mindset with people thinking that doing exercise meant hard work. It is only hard work when you push yourself into it from the start having a high expectation on how you should be (yes should be) doing things instead of listening to what your body is telling you first in order to allow your mindset to catch up and enjoy the process.

My client would always be concerned when I would say to them to work a 5 out of 10 because they would respond by saying that they are paying me to push them. Hmm! Interesting isn’t it – because they have been pushing themselves in their own minds and physically for years and where did it get them.

You need the mind to be working in unison with your body; otherwise, you will not get the desired results with ease. You will forever feel like you are pushing and putting out the heaps of energy with little result to show for it.

As soon as the client started working a 5 out of 10 on their selected cardio equipment, after 5 minutes I would ask them. “Now how do you feel out of 10?” “About a 7 out of 10” they would answer. “Great, keep going and let me know when you feel like an 8 out of 10.” As soon as they responded with an 8 out of 10, this was the time I knew their body and their mind was totally present and working in unison ready for maximum performance in their zone.

Maximise Productivity with Your Success Cycle

I’ll never forget the day when I had an insightful moment recognising that this same cycle also applies to all areas of life. I began practising consciously connecting all aspects of this mind and body connection into my professional and personal life.

Everything changed for the better. I noticed how I instantly became much more present when I was at home with my husband connecting with him after work instead of staying inside my busy head thinking of everything else that had to be done. I noticed myself connecting more to my gut feelings when making business decisions instead of listening to my head saying ‘you really should do this or that’. I noticed more of a flow inside my appointments set up for the day without the stress of racing from one appointment to another.

Life became an instant balance for me with peace of mind knowing that I had plenty of time to do the important things in my life.

This is what is known as body-mind-soul connection. Are you connected wit your body-mind-soul or are you pushing through your day feeling exhausted with no time to scratch yourself?

Consciousness is the key to real success in your professional and personal life. With conscious awareness, you will know the exact timing of what action is required to maximise your efforts. By practising this each day, you will gain greater insight into Your Success Cycle knowing this is what works best for you.

High achievers are often in a rush to get the results without setting up strong foundations.

I cannot tell you how often I hear clients say to me, “I just want to get back to basics.”

Never underestimate the basics. Strong foundations are made up of the basics.

It is always the basic everyday steps, which creates extraordinary results with momentum.

Persist and be patient with yourself. Keep on doing the important things being committed to Your Success Cycle with body-mind-soul connection.

5 Tips to Creating Strong Foundations:

1. Set up your Day to Win the Night Before

Diarise your priority actions inside realistic time frames. Make sure you have plenty of white spaces for yourself to expand on any new opportunities coming in.

2. Observe Yourself and Your Feelings (Ask this 1 Vital Question)

When you look at your next day’s schedule (the night before) – Ask yourself…

“Do I feel free, excited and accomplished when looking at my day set up for tomorrow?”

Yes it is possible to set your day up like this…I know because I will not step into my day without feeling this way first.

If you do not feel free, excited and accomplished about the day you are setting up, then I strongly suggest you cancel, change, re-arrange, add…whatever you need to do to adjust this. Stay inside Your Success Cycle.

3. Make Time for Yourself every day

One of the main reasons people feel overwhelmed about their day is because they do not make time to do the important things for themselves. Make this a PRIORITY.

4. Visualise your Ideal Day

When putting your head on the pillow at night, as you close your eyes, visualise your ideal day seeing yourself flowing through your day attracting ideal clients, inspiring your team, communicating with confidence, plenty of time for exercise, spending time with your family etc. Then gently nod off to sleep.

5. Notice your First Thoughts in the Morning

Are your first thoughts in the morning positive or negative? Notice whatever they are as this will be the theme for the day unless you take control of your thoughts and change them. Begin to be grateful from your heart for everything you have today in your life. Begin your day with the most powerful words in the universe “Thank You” and keep saying Thank You until you notice your energy shift into a natural flow of enthusiasm and excitement about your day.