Ways to Easily Evolve when Facing Life Transitions

You may find yourself going through some sort of transition in life. If so, this is normally not an easy process as you may be facing the challenge of being in the ‘muddle’ of life. One moment feeling like you have it all handled, and the next, wondering what happened!

Who am I now? You may be asking! What are my next steps? What happened to the clarity of direction you may have had in the past? I have often felt like I have hit a brick wall with clarity turning into a haze of uncertainty. On many an occasion when facing transitions in life, I have often caught myself asking these very profound questions.

The most challenging and rewarding path is our evolving transitions in life. Some of the many evolving paths I have personally witnessed is the transition of being married to then going through divorce, from being employed in a large organization to starting my own business, from health and wellbeing challenges to guilt-free self care, from financial security to financial uncertainty and many more.


The Power of Uncertainty and Vulnerability

During these transitional times, my clarity of direction in life always went through a dark tunnel of uncertainty and vulnerability. The truth is, I never made it easy on myself because I would always resist the change. This would cause greater stress, anxiety and overwhelm in my mind and body, which never made it a quicker journey towards reaching a new normal.

I always found that there was light at the end of this dark tunnel when allowing myself to be patient inside of the feelings of uncertainty. As I would continue to focus on what I was certain about inside my life right here and now, this would help me to stay present to what was already working in my life.

I knew my habitual personality was to create strategies and work it all out.  I was committed to doing things differently without the push, strive and drive. To allow new insight and awareness to come to me at the time it is meant to. To trust that there is a powerful learning lesson inside this transition and if I push it, I will only make it harder to learn the lesson.

To remind myself that there is light inside this dark tunnel and not to push for results.

I would remind myself of the saying…

“You may not always get what you think you want,
but you will always get what you need for your highest evolution.”

I always found myself peacefully coming out the other end with greater awareness and insight into the next phase of life with a deeper knowing of what was right for me at that stage of my life.

We know that change and transitioning is a part of life, so why do we sometimes hang on to the same old story keeping us from living a successful and fulfilling life?

If you are hanging on to a story of what success is meant to look like, like I did, then it will take a very long time to see the learning lessons and ways to create a new life with this new awareness, knowledge and insightful wisdom.

When going through the muddle of a life changing transition, it can cause many fearful feelings of self-doubt, overwhelm, disappointment, uncertainty and vulnerability. If you are use to having success in your life, without the challenges that will cause you to gain new insight about yourself, then you may get stuck in your thinking and automatic action processes, limiting your full potential.
 

Are You Really Living your Purposeful Path?

The natural evolution of transitioning is important for the exponential growth of your purpose. You may be on the wrong track and something will interrupt your habitual path in order for you to gain greater insight into your real self. To create the space and time needed, to allow yourself to develop new ways of creating a life and business you love to live from inside out.

For many years, I followed a path of what I thought success looked like. I realized that I had developed this picture due to unmet needs of being liked, accepted, loved, respected, acknowledged, valued etc. When I met those needs intrinsically, that is when I was able to clearly see and feel my purposeful path of inspiring others to tune into being an expression of their real self.

I needed to clean up my own needs to get myself out of the way. In other words, I was able to hear my calling instead of what I thought I needed to do to be successful. This came in the way of clear next steps, one step at a time.


Become Your Own Best Friend

So if you are going through a transition as we speak, allow yourself to feel the space of vulnerability and uncertainty. Become your own best friend inside this space and make sure you do not try to fill the space up with old habits. Feel the space and acknowledge every single feeling coming up inside of you (yes, be with your feelings and do not squash them down or push them aside).

Speak kindly and gently to your fears and doubts with support and guidance just like you would a scared child. This is exactly what I did. Instead of making my feelings wrong and burying them by pushing harder, I decided to become my own best friend and speak to myself with a supportive, kind and loving voice.

If you continue to beat yourself up with the old theory of ‘no pain – no gain’ (like I use to), then you will find yourself trying harder and harder in life to achieve. This will keep you on the treadmill of continually hitting the glass ceiling and feeling exhausted each day. Your health and wellbeing will definitely suffer. This will affect the quality of your relationships at home and at work.

As I mentioned to a colleague this week, who is going through a transition
at this time in her life, to make sure she ‘feels the space’ – ‘not fill the space’.

 

Myth:  Busy is the New Black

Too often I have felt lazy if I was not keeping busy or feeling like I was not being productive. When in actual fact I was living a false sense of productivity. This was my ego habitual self and not the truth to getting to know my whole self.

We are too quick to get on the busy path, instead of allowing the space to guide us one step at a time. Your inspiring vision will come to you when you stay in a state of ease, flow and stillness.

Ask yourself these 5 questions if feeling challenged right now:

  1. What meaning am I making from this event/change?
  2. What am I learning about myself in who I am being and how I am acting or reacting?
  3. Why am I acting this way and what new insight have I gained?
  4. Who do I choose to become now that I know this about myself?
  5. What new actions am I going to take to support my new commitment?
Visioning: The Power of Living and Working in the Zone

In the fast pace of life and business today, it is easy to get caught up in reaction mode with a false sense of productivity. This makes getting into their zone quite challenging for best results. Clients are always pleasantly surprised just how much more they can achieve, in less time and with less effort, when they are working and living in the zone.

As a champion sportswoman many years ago, peak performance and full potential were evident when ‘playing in the zone’.

Are you being productive utilizing your full potential in the zone?

Do you actually know what your zone is and how to get into the zone?

I remember having a ritual in preparation for game day. This ritual consisted of listening to upbeat music, I would prepare my gear the night before, I did not go out the night before, I would speak positive to myself, I would eat certain foods before the game, I would do deep breathing exercises, I would warm up my body and my mind before the official warm up. Doing these helped me to get into the zone before stepping on the field.

I was always researching ways to improve my standard to move beyond peak performance in the zone. The most powerful tool I have ever used which I learnt over 30 years ago was visioning.

My national trainer told me the story about where Olympic athletes had used visual rehearsal in their mind of the event using all their senses as a part of their training. Evidence had revealed that every muscle in their body was activated to the same degree of exertion as though they were running the event. I then decided to use this tool everyday for my national training.

I would visualize my performance on the field, the team plays I wanted to run, I would see myself scoring touchdowns in my mind, I saw myself winning fairest and best, being in the zone, playing with confidence and leading the team to win.

My trainer also suggested that I record my voice saying positive performance statements and to listen to them every night as I was going to sleep. This would program my belief system to support my mind and body to perform at peak level. I developed persistence and a greater sense of self-belief, which kept me in the zone and focused for the whole game.

I am clear that these tools were a major part of my winning formula that supported me physically, mentally and emotionally. I was able to keep moving forward, to say focused on the game, to support and back up team members, to get on with the game if a play did not come off the first time, to continue to get back up if I took a hit.

I have been using this same winning formula, which has contributed to my extraordinary professional and personal success.

Just like in sport, it is very powerful to live and work in the zone. It is important to get to know the best way for you to put yourself into the zone for greater focus. Knowing when you are in action, there is a particular zone that you need to be in to perform at peak level continually. You need to know how to set up the environment in a way where there are no distractions. Your mindset needs to be in a state of laser like focus and the energy you bring forth into every action your take needs to be grounded and clear.

When living and working in the zone there is a flow that occurs which I call the ‘free-flow zone’. The more you practice being in your zone you will notice a presence that is much more powerful because of who you are being, not just by what you are doing or saying.

There is a deeper level to that, but mainly it is all about really staying connected from within. Leading and living from the heart, trust your gut, that instinctual part of you, then taking action that connects with the whole you.

 

 

Design your Life and Business Success for 2019

Happy New Year. Welcome to 2019. I am really looking forward to sharing a truly inspiring year together filled with purpose and presence.

It’s that time of the year where my husband, Mark, and I sit by the pool with our favourite bottle of champagne and cheese platter, taking time out to reflect on our year. We find this helps us to gain clarity of our direction for this coming year. Especially clarifying our evolving next steps in alignment with our vision, goals and values.

Throughout the year, we write on post-it notes our acknowledgements for the day, expressing gratitude for new experiences we have had, humbled by the people we meet and share time with, quality time with our family, grateful for current and new work contracts, financial growth, new business opportunities, time-out for self, health and fitness, events we have attended, and anything else we feel most grateful for.

We have a very large vase sitting in the corner of our kitchen to remind us of the importance of reflection each day. It certainly does not take long for the jar to fill up. Take a look at it this year.

One by one we reminisce on events, places, people, challenges, opportunities, we have experienced. We share our realisations and insights of where we are today, new insights we have gained and what new learnings we want to expand on this year.

With a big ‘cheers’ and the sound of the clinging of the champagne glasses, we celebrate those special moments all over again.

As we remember events we totally forgot about attending, reminisce about the places we visited on our holiday in Singapore, thankful for the contracts that came out of the blue, humbled by the quality of time we spent with our family and friends, surprised about the number of movies we saw (definitely movie buffs) and much more.

I mentioned to Mark that I see a pattern in our acknowledgements and how the actions we take truly indicates what is most important to us. For example, we noticed our love for events and movies, dinner dates together, time with family and friends, loving our work life, enjoying time in our garden, love my writing time at cafes close to the beach, our walks along the beach, making time to exercise, breath meditation, walking our dog in nature etc.

We notice our life theme running throughout every reflection. It was very obvious to us, as to what is most important in our lives, in looking at specifically where we are spending our time.

Our values stood out very clearly and we were very excited to confirm our commitment in the way we lived our everyday way of life and business correlating with our core values.

The theme running through our values is:

  • Loving Marriage
  • Connection with Family and Friends
  • Energising Health, Fitness and Well-Being
  • Fulfilling Business Life
  • Harmonious Home Life
  • Balancing Time for Self

The benefits we both notice and shared with each other is that we never realize just how much we already live a full life. We often find ourselves so busy getting caught up in where we are heading and not stopping to fully take in the fullness of the simple steps we take each day. We also noticed what we take for granted at times, looking at what we don’t have or still have not achieved.

What’s most important to us both is to consciously design a life and business we love to live each day. What we recognise is the areas that we are living our core values and where we may need to place our focus on this year.

The next step we take is to identify the specific areas we want to focus on.

Mark mentioned that he wants to create more time for himself outside of business. Because he works in the events industry, this means his hours vary. This also means that his working week varies and a routine can only be scheduled placed around the event bookings.

My coaching business model is very different as I choose to set my week up with a routine that accommodates my personal and business energy cycles. In other words, I know what time of day works best for me to make appointments with clients, business management time, marketing time, my personal appointments for self-time etc.

I share with Mark that I would like to invite family and friends over for dinner on a regular basis. We often speak about it, yet time gets gobbled up with other areas that are important to us.

We then wrote out our personal and business goals for the next 12 months.

I always find our goals are the obvious next steps we need to focus on. In other words, the areas that we know we have dropped the ball and now is the time to pick it up and create new habits that support our growth, happiness and fulfilment.

I hope this gives you the inspiration to make time to reflect on where you are spending your time, energy and money. These are all indicators to gain consciousness as to whether you are living your values each day or living into a hopeful future.

If you would like to gain greater clarity, focus and confidence in achieving your personal and business goals in 2019 and beyond, contact me today to discuss your requirements.

Reaction Mode: Are you Meeting your Needs?

It can be very frustrating going through life trying to get your Needs met by others without satisfaction. This can feel like an emotional roller coaster at times if you are continually expecting others to meet your Needs.

Notice whether you have ever communicated your Needs to the people important in your life because it is easy to assume they should know what your Needs are if they care and love you. Everyone has different Needs and it is imperative that you communicate these to stop any unfulfilled expectations you may have.

The first step to getting your Needs met is to become aware about what they are. The next step is to take responsibility in meeting your own Needs and also to communicate these with the people you feel safe with, who will help you get them met.

Once you begin to get your Needs met on a regular basis, there will come a time when you will notice your Needs will automatically be met because you have set up your life in a way that you, and the people around you, will support, encourage and believe in you and your goals.

Between your Stimulus and your Response

YOU have the power to CHOOSE.

I would like to take you through the journey I took when first identifying my Needs. This was at the time in my life when I was going through a divorce and recreating my own vision as a single woman taking a good look at what was truly important to me. I was also in transition of setting up my international coaching business with the intention of getting off to a strong start according to my life and business vision, values and passion to create a sustainable business.

In answering the Getting your Needs Met questions, I must say that I did find this quite a challenge because I had to get honest with myself about what I truly needed in my life, to be my best. As I became more aware of what my Needs were, I then took responsibility in communicating what I needed and set up my life automatically for these to be met.

List of Needs

Approval
Being valued
Fulfillment
Love
Security
Respect
Sincerity
Recognition
Communication
Comfort
Being taken care of
Honesty
Inclusion
Accomplishment
Listened to
Feeling worthy
Clarity
Peace
Being needed
Control
Affecting others
Being cared about
Prosperity
Balance
Consistency
Luxury
Power
Safety
Acknowledgement
Compliments
Being busy
Pleasing others
Performance

A need is not a want, a wish or a should. It is something you need in order to be your best and to live your life to your fullest potential.

A tip on how to identify your needs is to look into your life and notice where you may react, for example, turn away from people, get angry, gossip, withhold love, not communicate something that is bothering you, not being totally honest, feel disrespected etc.

Getting your Needs Met

List your top 4 Needs and answer the following questions.

  • Why is this Need important for it to be my personal Need?
  • When I get this Need met, who do I become and how do I act?
  • How do I feel about myself, about others and about life when I do not get this Need met?
  • Where am I getting this Need met and where am I not getting this need met?
  • What 3 changes am I willing to make to get this Need fully met?

It is important to know that we all have Needs at different times in our lives. Every 12 months I redo the Needs questions to see if there are any Needs I feel I want to focus on to be at my best consistently. So if you find yourself reacting to a situation in your life, there will always be an unmet Need just under the surface screaming to be met. This is a great time to sit down and identify what that need is and answer the questions on Getting your Needs Met.

Summary in Getting your Needs Met

  1. List your top 4 Needs.
  2. Answer the 5 questions outlined in Getting your Needs Met section.
  3. Design an automatic reminder based on Question 5: actions on getting your Needs met with support of a trusted friend, family member or coach.

If you are ready to breakthrough reaction mode and get your needs met faster than what you would on your own, contact me to discuss your requirements http://annettestanton.com/contact/

Annette Stanton 
With over 35 years experience being on the leading edge, Master Coach, Transformational Leader, Speaker, Author of The Power of Vision – I am passionate about coaching you to gain clarity of vision, develop confidence to unleash your full potential and live with freedom in your personal and business life.

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

When you compare yourself to others, in that very instant you may possibly be negating yourself and what you have already achieved in your life.

I remember my coach saying,

“Don’t compare other people’s outside world, to your inside world”.

You really do not know what is going on in their world, or whether they are truly happy, especially when you compare yourself to another person and what they have materially.

For example, you might notice a colleague who looks and acts confidently with external material success and you catch yourself saying “Where’s my success, I work just as hard” or “I wish I could be as confident as him/her”. Only you know those moments that really hit you in the stomach.

Next time you catch yourself in this position, notice your tone of voice as to if it has a negative charge of hope and wishful thinking. Behind this emotive feeling is generally a put-down of your own capabilities, your own potential to achieve in life.

The thing that you may not be aware of is that the other person is probably comparing themselves to you – about some completely different area of inadequacy within themselves. We all have our own inadequacies.

The day you stop comparing and start to acknowledge
the strengths and good fortune of others will be the day
you unleash your unique attributes.

Just notice how the more you keep comparing, the further away from you that good fortune gets. You will not receive that which you do not acknowledge within yourself. So next time you notice yourself comparing, catch yourself and acknowledge others for their good looks, qualities, possessions, good fortune etc.

For example, the next time you see a confident and successful person, say in a positive tone of voice, “Wow! That’s for me!” Start to get excited about the fact that you have attracted this quality into your life just by seeing it in others, for this is normally an indication that you are ready to unleash what’s already inside of you.

The sooner you choose to acknowledge others, the sooner the things you see in their lives will show up in your own life. Creating a supportive self-image will accelerate your growth and transform your life for the better.

Create a Supportive Self-Image

What is your perception of yourself? This can be a challenging question to ask. How you feel, see and think about yourself is everything. Self-image is not something that just happens to you; it is that all-important concept you have of yourself. Having a negative self-image will create a negative outcome when you try to move towards achieving your goals. The good news is that you can change your self-image, your personality and your behaviours.

If you see yourself as a winner in life and you act like a winner, then all areas of your life will begin to flow. Use strong images with pictures, feelings and words with the roles you want to play in life. What you see for yourself, is what you attract, and what you feel within yourself, is who you are.

Take the time to identify how you see yourself and how you truly feel about yourself. As you become conscious of who you want to become, you can make the change.

Develop an Attitude of Gratitude

Have you gone from goal to goal and wondered why you are still not happy? Often this is because you are so focused on where you are going in life that you have not stopped to smell the roses along the way.

It is important to be grateful for what you do have in your life today, the people who are important to you, and the unconditional love you receive from your family. Yes, that means the everyday small things that bring you joy in your life, including the small actions you are taking towards your vision.

In the past, my life always felt as though it was dangling like a carrot on a string out in front of me to chase; I was always going for the next goal and still not happy. Yes, I had heard people talk about ‘being grateful for what I had in my life now’ and ‘reflecting on what I had already achieved’. I always let these suggestions slide off me with an “it’s not enough yet” attitude.

What I was really saying was ‘I wasn’t enough yet’. This also meant that everything I had achieved in my life was not enough.  I took so much for granted. When I realised that, I decided to make a list of everything I had achieved in my life as far back as I could remember.

Whatever you appreciate in your life
will always appreciate in value.

The list started really slowly as I reflected on my life. The more I started to write, the more I remembered, from little things like getting up early one morning to watch the sun come up, to the bigger things like being a national sporting representative.

As I looked back at the list I had a powerful feeling of accomplishment within myself. This helped diminish the limiting beliefs I had of ‘it’s not enough yet’ and ‘I wasn’t enough’; when in actual fact I was ‘more than enough’ and had ‘more than enough’ in my life.

When you are in a state of ‘it’s not enough yet’, you will continually feel that way – and life will also show up that way. Did you know that when you live your life with the ‘it’s not enough’ theme constantly being played, you are actually affirming to yourself that ‘you are not enough’? I learnt this lesson myself when I first hired my coach. I remember telling my coach that I had to learn more about certain topics before I could move forward in my business.
Sure, education is important, but I actually had a lot of knowledge, which I was not using. My coach gave me two challenges.

  • The first challenge was to write the affirmation ‘I am enough’ and place it in my office so that I could see it every day. I resisted this at first because I truly believed I had to look for more answers outside of myself.
  • The second challenge was to trust and take the next step I knew I wanted to take, based on the knowledge I already had. You see I was always one of those people who loved to learn by reading books and attending seminars, but did I action what I had learnt? Not to its fullest capacity, if at all.

When I started trusting, I realised that I undervalued the amount of knowledge I did have and kept looking outside myself for more knowledge. It became a habit because I loved learning things, but what good was my knowledge if I did not put it into practice? Notice in what areas you may be looking outside yourself for knowledge you already have. You are already enough in many areas of your life. You only need to bring it to your awareness and then acknowledge yourself.

One of the practices I now have is to write five things I am grateful for today. So if you feel as though your wheels are spinning and life is moving fast, stop to smell the roses by taking on this daily practice. This can be done even in your thoughts just before you turn the light out at night.

When you are grateful for everything in your life as it is today, you will feel an immediate expansion of your energy and start to attract more of the good things in life that you truly desire. Why not start a gratitude journal on a daily basis and notice how quickly your life will change?

Creating your Purposeful Vision

From the inspirational words of Nelson Mandela –

“Action without vision is only passing time, vision without action is merely day dreaming, but vision with action can change the world.”

What is your vision for all areas of your life? Do you have a vision?

A vision embraces the ‘who’ of you. This means the areas that are most important to you in your whole life. Not just on a material level, or on a financial level; it covers you as a ‘whole’ person. It may mean you have to dare to recapture dreams, ignite new ones and have the courage to believe in yourself. Most of all you have to trust that you can achieve whatever you desire in life.

Your vision is made up of how you want to live your life today and your desired future. Most people set it up like it is a future thing alone. If you do this, life will pass you by. Identify what’s important to you today and value those things e.g. relationships, business, family, colleagues, children, health, finances, personal development etc. Whatever they are for you, live them fully today because your life IS today and when tomorrow comes – it will still be today!

Having your own vision gives you more purpose and meaning to life. A vision will support you in times of doubt, especially when you face challenges and you start to question the who, what, and how you want to live your life, based on what’s most important to you.

Having a vision will help you to maintain your focus and achieve your personal and professional ambitions. Your vision must be in alignment with your core values.

When you create a vision in alignment with your values, 

the best strategy to close the gap will always appear.

Create your Purposeful Vision

  1. What you want for yourself in life, physically, emotionally, financially and spiritually.

Examples of what you may want for yourself in life are: living a healthy and fit lifestyle, having a successful and profitable business giving a professional and ethical service to people worldwide, practising personal and professional development, being committed to your own growth, spending quality time with your family and connecting with them daily, expressing love to your family and friends.

  1. What you want for others in life, physically, emotionally, financially and spiritually.

Examples of what you may want for others in life are: making a difference in the lives of others by way of listening and being present when in their company, for others to live a wealthy and happy lifestyle, to live a life they love with work being their passion.

  1. What you want to be known for by others, family and the world – leaving a legacy.

Examples of what you may want to be known for in life are: writing a book on what you are passionate about, being a part of a community you believe in and giving of your time, bringing up your children with values that empower them for life.

Enjoy creating your purposeful vision. A vision that is inspirational, knowing it is in alignment with your core values. A vision that is transforming your life, and the lives of others you are connecting with.

If you are ready to transform your life and live your inspirational vision, contact me to book in for a 30 minute introductory to coaching conversation to discuss your requirements http://annettestanton.com/contact/

Active Meditation: Mindfulness in Action

Who has time to meditate with the fast pace of life and business nowadays?

No, you do not have to be sitting in the lotus position with your eyes closed to get best results as I first thought.

The reason I decided to write this article is because many of my clients are making themselves wrong for not making the time to meditate. They are telling me that they feel they need to create time for it to be most effective. In other words they are thinking they need to be meditating in a certain way for best results.

Can you relate to this?

I certainly can. Especially during my first attempts to meditate, with my head telling me that this is a waste of time, I have better things to do, where is this going to get me?

The monkey mind – chitter chatter – just wouldn’t slow down at all.

Yes, I had a very busy mind that would always be racing ahead.

How do I do this meditation stuff so that I can stop driving myself crazy jumping from goal to goal or project to project? Exhausting myself!!!

Trying to get it right. Only to find there is no right way. Let’s find your way.

There are many forms of meditation –
it is important to find what works best for you.

Ultimately, you want to feel like you are in a state of consciousness throughout your day for focused productivity, engaging communication and creative innovation. If not, you may find yourself reacting to situations and circumstances leaving you feeling exhausted at the end of the day.

  • This is where meditation and mindfulness can support you.

Yes, meditation can consist of sitting quietly and being with your thoughts and your breath. I don’t know about you, but as a high achiever and go-getter personality style, I found that style of meditation very challenging to do in the beginning. So I chose to start with creative visualization and deep breathing for only 5 minutes, and increased the time, as I gave myself permission to sit for longer.

Today, this has expanded into what I like to call ‘mindfulness in action’.

This means that I focus on my breath being conscious to my senses, as I take action throughout the day. This supports me to become a lot calmer, present and conscious inside of each activity, without reacting to outside circumstances. From this stance, I can make better decisions because of being grounded and connected with mind and body.

  • For example, if I am about to step into a meeting, I take a few deep breaths sending this into my body taking me out of my strategic mind racing ahead. With my first priority being to connect with my inner body being still in mind and body. My objective is to stay fully present to the environment, the people in the room, the language they are using, sensing what they are saying and what they are not saying.

Listening with a beginner’s mind, connecting with
all your senses will support you to become an
influential observer with inspiring presence.

Being the observer creates space to listen without judgment or pre-conceived ideas. Being the observer will support your active listening skills, which is much more powerful as you can take everything in using all your senses. If you jump in too quickly, you will not hear all. What is being said and what is not being said. You will then know exactly what to say or do that will make a difference inspiring everyone in the room.

I then take this home with me and remind myself to live being conscious using all my senses. Being fully present to my relationships at home, in my community, at work etc. creates a state of presence. This means taking powerful ownership of all your emotions.

If you have a busy mind, as I do, one of the best practices I choose is to focus on my breath as often as I can throughout the day. This creates space between your strategic mind and your creative mind.

For innovation and natural creativity to flow, it is important to create plenty of space for your mind to relax so that you can hear your inspiring vision and next steps from your innovative wisdom.

There are plenty of times I catch myself trying to work it all out from my strategic mind, to which I then push the pause button and take a deep breath; shifting my presence back into my body – not trying to work it all out in my head.

Notice whether you are getting in your own way by working harder or driving yourself to find the solution coming from force.

The best solutions will always come to you when
you are most relaxed.

I just noticed myself taking another deep breath with a slow exhalation, as I am writing this article. I caught myself realising that this is becoming more and more a natural practice inside my day.

  • Let’s push the pause button for a moment and ‘take a deep breath in’ – and ‘let it go’. I know, a little corny, but it works if done consistently.

It does take a conscious reminder in the beginning and with repetition; it will slowly become a natural part of your being.

This reminds me of when I was a personal trainer of the many times I would be coaching my clients to relax their mind and body for best results through the power of the conscious breath. It’s interesting how I find myself using this simple practice personally and with my professional coaching clients today.

  • Never underestimate the simple repetitive steps as they can create extraordinary results.

No matter what results you want in your personal and professional life, it is paramount to know who is showing up.

  • Are you being calm and relaxed from inside out?
  • Are you being present in a state of presence?
  • Are you fully listening with all your senses?
  • Are you communicating with language that inspires others?

Practice mindfulness in action throughout your day with greater self-awareness for best results in your personal and professional life.

If you are wanting to close the gap from where you are now to achieve next level success, contact me to book in for a 15-minute introduction to coaching conversation to discuss your requirements http://annettestanton.com/contact/

Coaching, Counselling, Mentoring and Consulting – What’s the Difference?

I often get asked about the difference between coaching, counselling, mentoring and consulting.  While the communication skills used by these professions are similar – such as asking questions, active listening, summarising, etc., they are very different methods, and it depends on what the client needs.

Here are some distinctions:

Coaching
According to the International Coach Federation, coaching is defined as “partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximise their personal and professional potential.” The coach is the subject matter expert at coaching, not necessarily the subject matter expert of the client’s coaching topic.

Counselling
Counselors are trained to diagnose and help the client with emotional problems, the past or dysfunction while coaches are not. The coach’s domain is future-oriented – what does the client want? And then coaching the client to get there.

Mentoring
A mentor is a wise and trusted guide and advisor. The mentor is the teacher that shares their experience while bringing the “mentee” up the ranks.  A coach is not necessarily the subject matter expert in order to help develop the client.

Consulting
A consultant is an expert who is called on for professional or technical advice or opinions. They are relied on to understand the problem and present solutions. Consulting is unlike coaching because, with pure coaching, the answers come from the client.

What are your thoughts about these distinctions?

When seeking a professional, it is important to know what your requirements are so that you can choose the right professional at the right time.

Coaching, Counselling, Mentoring & Consulting

According to the founder of CoachU, Thomas Leonard:

A Coach is…

  • Your partner in achieving professional and personal goals;
  • Your champion during a turnaround;
  • Your trainer in communication and life skills;
  • Your sounding board when making choices;
  • Your motivator when strong actions called for;
  • Your unconditional support when you take a hit;
  • Your mentor in personal development;
  • Your co-design when developing an extraordinary project
  • Your beacon during stormy times;
  • Your wake-up call if you don’t hear your own, and most importantly;
  • Your coach is your partner in living the life you know you’re ready for, personally and professionally.”

The Art & Science of Coaching

I am very passionate about coaching because since having a Master Coach in my corner over the past 17 years, the power of transformational coaching has delivered exactly that in my life – it has transformed my personal and professional life. This is what strongly supported my decision to become a professional coach studying the true art and science of advanced coaching.

If you are wanting to close the gap from where you are now to achieve next level success with a professional accredited coach, contact me to book in for a 20 minute introductory to coaching conversation to discuss your requirements http://annettestanton.com/contact/

How I Developed Self-Confidence – My Affirmation Story

Yes, you can change your life. I know this is a very profound statement and I say it because I have done it myself. Until I was about 30 years old, I was so shy that I hardly ever spoke, and I lived a lot of my life in my head. My only self-expression was through my physical body, as an excellent sportswoman.

I started to wonder why I could express myself naturally as a sportswoman, but not in my personal and professional life. This was a challenge to me because at that time I spent a lot of my life worrying about my past (which I could not do anything about) or thinking about the future (which had not even occurred yet).

As I observed myself in my sporting arena, what stood out the most was that I had to respond to the plays spontaneously in the moment, otherwise the opportunity was lost. That was my breakthrough! I was 100% present in the moment on and off the field as the captain coach, leading the team and holding on to the higher purpose of the game. Obviously, I had trained my level of fitness and skills to respond quickly.

My greatest challenge in my personal and professional life was living in the present moment. Once I started to practise being present, I began to hear my predominantly negative self-statements, which were obviously based on my fears of all the ‘what ifs’ (which, by the way, never happened). What a waste of energy and time in my life that was!

I decided it was time to get serious about this positive self-statement stuff! I admit I was still a little apprehensive about affirmations because I had attempted to do them a few years before, without success. Now I realise that I had always done them in a very reactive state when I either felt negative or frustrated and that I’d soon given up, wondering why affirmations never worked for me.

Once I began to do my affirmations more effectively, I decided to keep saying them, as I knew the conscious mind would only take on the thoughts and words I consistently told myself. This eventually became a natural part of who I am and how I live my life, as a new and rewarding habit.

How I developed self confidence

I will take you through the steps I took that helped me make the changes. To get the maximum from my experience, why not go through the steps with me now? I have used the true-life example of developing my self-confidence in my personal and professional life.

Step 1   I wrote down the negative head talk and became conscious of what I was automatically saying to myself, about myself and others.

E.g.        “I am not confident” . . . “I wish I looked and acted confidently like her or him” . . . “I am not very good at . . .”

Step 2   Then I changed the wording of those negative self-statements into positive present tense affirmations and wrote them on palm cards to keep in the office, car, fridge etc. as a reminder.

E.g.        I am confident

I act confidently

I am great at . . .

Step 3   I chose to say the affirmations as many times as possible during my day no matter what. I said them with feeling, emotion and belief, as though I had already achieved them.

Tip: Choose a maximum of three affirmations to say each time. If you do not feel comfortable with the affirmation, you may need to change the wording to suit you. Keep saying your chosen affirmations until you feel you own them and your life begins to show up that way.

Step 4   I asked myself, “Who do I need to become to achieve this?” Then I made a list of what confident people do, how they act, what they wear, how they walk. I started taking on all those actions, like walking tall down the street looking people in the eyes, smiling and acting confidently (yes, fake it until you make it – definitely works), speaking to people even when I felt nervous.

How I Developed Self-Confidence – My Affirmation Story

With daily commitment in practising to be confident, I built a new habit, which changed my life, and I naturally became confident. The new me went from being a shy person to becoming a public speaker, moving interstate and developing my first business, stepping out of my comfort zone and participating in adventurous events such as jumping out of a plane; skydiving, white water rafting, half marathons, travelling the world, just to mention a few.

I cannot tell you how long or short a time it took because there was no line to cross over that marked the difference between ‘shy’ and ‘confident’. I remember one day just noticing how confident I now was and it felt so natural and humbling.

We are all made up of our habits. I decided to make being confident a new habit, purely by taking on new behaviours and acting out ‘confidence’ until it became a part of who I naturally am today.

If I can do it, I know you can too. Think about what habit you would like to change and start taking on the new actions until they are a part of who you are. Does a little part of my shyness still pop up in my life every so often? Yes! Of course, it does and in that moment I remind myself that I am not committed to being that way.

Who are you committed to being in your life?

Annette Stanton

“I see a world where leaders are being called to step up and out - to lead from their authentic self with greater connection.

My mission is to activate revolutionary leadership across the globe where leaders are living their highest vision and purposeful mission every day.”

Contact Annette
  • +61 8 9437 4820
  • annette@annettestanton.com