How I Developed Self-Confidence – My Affirmation Story

Yes, you can change your life. I know this is a very profound statement and I say it because I have done it myself. Until I was about 30 years old, I was so shy that I hardly ever spoke, and I lived a lot of my life in my head. My only self-expression was through my physical body, as an excellent sportswoman.

I started to wonder why I could express myself naturally as a sportswoman, but not in my personal and professional life. This was a challenge to me because at that time I spent a lot of my life worrying about my past (which I could not do anything about) or thinking about the future (which had not even occurred yet).

As I observed myself in my sporting arena, what stood out the most was that I had to respond to the plays spontaneously in the moment, otherwise the opportunity was lost. That was my breakthrough! I was 100% present in the moment on and off the field as the captain coach, leading the team and holding on to the higher purpose of the game. Obviously, I had trained my level of fitness and skills to respond quickly.

My greatest challenge in my personal and professional life was living in the present moment. Once I started to practise being present, I began to hear my predominantly negative self-statements, which were obviously based on my fears of all the ‘what ifs’ (which, by the way, never happened). What a waste of energy and time in my life that was!

I decided it was time to get serious about this positive self-statement stuff! I admit I was still a little apprehensive about affirmations because I had attempted to do them a few years before, without success. Now I realise that I had always done them in a very reactive state when I either felt negative or frustrated and that I’d soon given up, wondering why affirmations never worked for me.

Once I began to do my affirmations more effectively, I decided to keep saying them, as I knew the conscious mind would only take on the thoughts and words I consistently told myself. This eventually became a natural part of who I am and how I live my life, as a new and rewarding habit.

How I developed self confidence

I will take you through the steps I took that helped me make the changes. To get the maximum from my experience, why not go through the steps with me now? I have used the true-life example of developing my self-confidence in my personal and professional life.

Step 1   I wrote down the negative head talk and became conscious of what I was automatically saying to myself, about myself and others.

E.g.        “I am not confident” . . . “I wish I looked and acted confidently like her or him” . . . “I am not very good at . . .”

Step 2   Then I changed the wording of those negative self-statements into positive present tense affirmations and wrote them on palm cards to keep in the office, car, fridge etc. as a reminder.

E.g.        I am confident

I act confidently

I am great at . . .

Step 3   I chose to say the affirmations as many times as possible during my day no matter what. I said them with feeling, emotion and belief, as though I had already achieved them.

Tip: Choose a maximum of three affirmations to say each time. If you do not feel comfortable with the affirmation, you may need to change the wording to suit you. Keep saying your chosen affirmations until you feel you own them and your life begins to show up that way.

Step 4   I asked myself, “Who do I need to become to achieve this?” Then I made a list of what confident people do, how they act, what they wear, how they walk. I started taking on all those actions, like walking tall down the street looking people in the eyes, smiling and acting confidently (yes, fake it until you make it – definitely works), speaking to people even when I felt nervous.

How I Developed Self-Confidence – My Affirmation Story

With daily commitment in practising to be confident, I built a new habit, which changed my life, and I naturally became confident. The new me went from being a shy person to becoming a public speaker, moving interstate and developing my first business, stepping out of my comfort zone and participating in adventurous events such as jumping out of a plane; skydiving, white water rafting, half marathons, travelling the world, just to mention a few.

I cannot tell you how long or short a time it took because there was no line to cross over that marked the difference between ‘shy’ and ‘confident’. I remember one day just noticing how confident I now was and it felt so natural and humbling.

We are all made up of our habits. I decided to make being confident a new habit, purely by taking on new behaviours and acting out ‘confidence’ until it became a part of who I naturally am today.

If I can do it, I know you can too. Think about what habit you would like to change and start taking on the new actions until they are a part of who you are. Does a little part of my shyness still pop up in my life every so often? Yes! Of course, it does and in that moment I remind myself that I am not committed to being that way.

Who are you committed to being in your life?

Improve your Focus with The Power of Intention

This subject is very close to my heart. I remember having a vision many years ago about how I would like my life to look and actually wrote it down. At the time it seemed like a dream that was ‘out there’ and that very familiar feeling of… ‘That would be the life’ with a deep sigh of someday…one day…maybe!

After many years of trusting my vision, writing it down regularly and taking consistent action steps – I am actually living that life now with a physical, financial, emotional and spiritual balance. I’m not talking about the million dollars – nor the material things (yes that is a big part of creating a reserve for yourself), I’m talking about what’s really

Important to you now and living a life based on your true values.

Normally, these are the conversations that sound something like this….

“When I have….., then I will do that….” or

“I wish I had enough time to do….” or

“I must get around to doing that….”

Fill in the gaps based on what is important to you.

By taking time-out for yourself to write down what it is you truly want to bring into your life, this will support you in maintaining a clear vision and keep you focused on where you are now and where you plan to go.

Another very important thing I learnt about this was to also acknowledge myself along the way, as I noticed how I kept extending the ‘goal posts’ every time I was about to achieve my goal. This made me feel like I was not getting anywhere, when actually I was. Notice whether this may be a pattern you have seen in your life and take some time now to acknowledge yourself!

Improve your Focus with The Power of Intention

The ‘power of intention’ is designed to look at what you want as a specific outcome.

Take a look at the examples below…

Example    – Prior to going into your next meeting – (choose your intention)….

That all staff members be clear about the actions required to successfully complete the project.

Example    – When picking up the children from school (choose your intention)…

I will listen and be totally present with my children sharing their excitement.

Example    – After a busy day at the office  – (choose your intention)…

I will take time-out for me and go to the gym.

I don’t know about you, but what I found when I did not think about what my intention was 99.9% of the time I generally found myself in the middle of an outcome which was not heading in the direction I truly wanted to go and it just doesn’t sit right.

Our natural reaction tends to be that we move away from what we don’t want. Why not make a commitment to yourself and start moving towards what you do want.

Transform your Life and Business to New Heights

Are you interested, or even curious, about how The Coach Approach can transform your personal and professional life? Become the game changer today!

Ask about my One on One Coaching Programs,  Group Coaching Programs and Workshops for individuals, teams and organisations.

With over 35 years of coaching and mentoring experience working with executives, business owners, coaches and entrepreneurs, I will coach you to gain clarity of direction and partner you in taking action towards living your inspirational vision with confidence, presence and freedom.

Contact Annette today for an introductory coaching session email: http://annettestanton.com/contact/

Results in Life: Become the CEO of your Mind and your Life

When I first heard the statement ‘your thoughts and your words create your world’, I admit to having major resistance. There was no way I wanted to believe that I was responsible for everything that happened to me!

How could my thoughts and my words be responsible for the way my life went? I decided to test it out. I began to imagine there was another ‘Annette’ hovering above my head in a helicopter as I went through my day, observing the words I spoke and the thoughts that went through my mind. I called this my ‘360 degree helicopter view’.

The first thing I noticed was how challenging it was to keep reminding myself of my mission. It is so easy to go into automatic pilot with our everyday habits, actions and thoughts. When I did become more conscious of the thoughts going through my mind each day, I was astonished how much I was saying to myself that really did not serve me.

So then my mission became to catch myself every time I had a negative thought and replace this with a supportive positive thought. Sometimes I would even write down the negative thoughts so that I could become conscious of the thinking process that was really running my life.

This must have been the most challenging, yet very rewarding start to becoming consciously aware of my thoughts and the words I spoke. I found this equation really helped me :

Your Thoughts = Your Feelings = Your Actions = Your Results.

Results in Life

Your thoughts and language are made up of a string of words (this can be positive or negative). Your thoughts and language will always give you a positive or negative feeling. Your positive or negative feelings will inspire you to take an action or no action. Your action or no action will always give you a positive or negative result in life.

Results in Life:  Become the CEO of your Mind and your Life

Consciously choose your thoughts and feelings every day to be what you want your results to be in life.

Identify what you are repeating to yourself about yourself on a daily basis. As soon as you become conscious of this, you can choose a positive self-statement to replace it with.

Start being your own best friend by changing your thoughts and your language towards yourself and others. Once you get rid of the negative head talk and change to positive supportive statements, you will change your life. Take on the motto of playing ‘positive FM’ instead of ‘negative FM’.

Transform your Life and Business to New Heights

Are you interested, or even curious, about how The Coach Approach can transform your business and personal life? Become the game changer today!

Ask about my One on One Coaching Programs,  Group Coaching Programs and Workshops for individuals, teams and organisations.

With over 35 years of coaching and mentoring experience working with executives, business owners, coaches and entrepreneurs, I will coach you to gain clarity of direction and partner you in taking action towards living your inspirational vision with confidence, presence and freedom.

Contact Annette today for an introductory coaching session email: http://annettestanton.com/contact/

Transform your Life in 2018

Every year my husband and I have a celebration ritual next to our pool with a glass of champagne to reflect on the past year. In previous years, we found that we could not remember everything that we had accomplished, what we were grateful for, the people we met, the events that we engaged in, the projects we completed etc.

So I decided, in January 2017, to set up a large vase and placed it in the corner kitchen bench so we could see it every day as a reminder to reflect on our day. We would write on a post-it note with the date and whatever it was we were grateful for within that day. If we went to an event, we would place the tickets in the vase. Very quickly the vase was bursting with the energy of life’s gratitude.

Here is a picture of our life’s celebration vase.

Celebration vase

When it came time to go through our reflections, sipping on our chilled champagne next to the pool, we were both pleasantly surprised as to how much we had achieved, received, connected and engaged with in life.

As we reflected on our year, we both mentioned that we had so much more to be grateful for that we had not placed in the vase. Mark, my husband, also mentioned how surprised he was about how full a life we actually live without realising.

It is easy to get caught up in the day-to-day busy schedule, with life skipping by so fast, we forget to really connect with the life we are living each day.

Transform your Life in 2018

One of the things that became clear to both of us by doing this was the pattern of what was most important in our life. The repetitive actions we took, what we were doing with our time, how we were exerting our energy, where we were spending our money etc.

This created a clear opening as to our evolving vision, goals and next steps for this coming year knowing these were all in alignment with our true values.

Our next step is to create a vision map matching our vision, goals and values.

Are you living your inspirational vision in alignment with your true values?

Make sure 2018 is your best year yet. If you have been thinking about hiring a coach to partner you in transforming your life, then please contact me http://annettestanton.com/contact/

A little more about vision mapping (exert from The Power of Vision book) http://annettestanton.com/author/

Vision Mapping

The brain works with sensory images and associations radiating from those images. Every day, you take in images, which affect your life. Using selected images (goals) and associations (values) will support you in maintaining focus on what you do want to attract.

A vision map is a collage of pictures, photos, inspirational words etc. of your goals, values and vision. You can’t buy a vision map; it is important that you spend the time to collect pictures based on your own goals, values and vision. When you bring colour into your images (goals), this adds extra vibrancy and energy, suggesting the possibility of creative thinking in achieving your goals.

When I first started creating vision maps for myself and facilitating vision mapping in workshops, I would place all my goals and vision onto one map. This worked really well, though today I do it a little differently. I have fun every year collecting pictures and photos to make up my three separate vision maps in the areas of business, personal life and travel. All of my vision maps are hanging in my office and my home so that I can view them daily.

Vision Success Tip

Creating your Vision Map

Choose whether you would like to begin with one vision map, or separate your life into three or four areas. Get yourself a large sheet of cardboard and place a photo of you and your family in the centre. Starting in the centre allows you to express yourself freely and spread out in any direction. Now collect pictures and inspirational words from magazines or the internet and paste them on your vision map. The end result will be a colourful vision map of what you truly desire. Look at it every day and take in the colour and life of the pictures as though you have already achieved your vision.  

Transform your Life and Business to New Heights

Are you interested, or even curious, about how The Coach Approach can transform your business and personal life? Become the game changer today!

Ask about my One on One Coaching Programs, or you may prefer my Group Coaching Program for individuals, teams and organisations.

With over 35 years of coaching and mentoring experience working with executives, business owners, coaches and entrepreneurs, I will coach you to gain clarity of direction and partner you in taking action towards living your inspirational vision with confidence, presence and freedom.

Contact Annette today for an introductory coaching session email: http://annettestanton.com/contact/

Your Body’s Intelligence: Living and Working in your Free-Flow Zone

What does it mean when it comes to working and living in your free-flow zone? Whatever is going on in your personal and professional life right now, there is a great diamond in there that is ready to evolve into brilliance. There is something about being in your zone that will open up new opportunities with less effort and stress. 

This week I was with a client who is an entrepreneur, very much a go-getter personality with 3 types of business. One of the things he brought up during our coaching session was that we enjoyed taking time out, at different times, throughout the day to go and do something physical that he enjoyed doing; like go for a run. This gave him some sort of outlet that had him really connect with his body.  

I congratulated him because what that indicated to me was that he trusted his free-flow zone. For him to truly be focused and to naturally allow his entrepreneurial spirit to fulfil his potential, then he needed those breaks in between. When working with your strategic mindset, it is important to consciously be connected to the body through some form of physical activity. This was his method of doing that.  

Some of the things I like to do to stay connected with my free-flow zone are to walk in nature with my dog, creative visualization, meditation, conscious deep breathing, swimming, channel writing, jogging, gardening etc.  

One of the things he then said to me was that he wanted to not feel guilty about taking time out during the day because of the old 9-5 mentality. I mentioned that I was reading an article recently about how leaders in major organisations today have developed a greater awareness around the importance of having those breaks in between.  

Your Body’s Intelligence: Living and Working in your Free-Flow Zone

It’s interesting how the subject of innovation, creativity, and diversification often comes up and how to develop these qualities. The interesting part about this is that these qualities will develop naturally when you give yourself plenty of space in your mind and body by taking regular breaks. It is not something you can work out in your mind. It lies inside the listening of the space you form when you create mind – body – soul connection. It occurs naturally, when you become the observer of yourself, with the important part being that you stay connected. It is an inner body connection.  

Often we talk about staying connected now via social media, networking, collaborations etc., about being connected and the value of connection. What does connection truly mean? It means that you are truly connected with who you are, your real self, what are your true core values that you live by (walk your talk) and your deep knowledge of why you do what you do. This way of being will activate a new communication style gaining a natural interest in others and getting to know who they truly are with open curiosity.  

It’s not about being connected through language or through commonality alone. Yes that’s one level of it, but I can tell you that if you go underneath all of that, staying connected with your true self, trusting and acting on your free-flow zone – staying connected with your body’s intelligence – no matter where you are, no matter who you are with, no matter what the conversation is about, you will naturally connect with inspiring presence.  

One of the things I challenged my client with this week was to wholeheartedly trust his free-flow zone by putting it in action. To notice the guilt, and take action anyway. The guilt trip is the old business model that did not work for him any longer.  

I mentioned to him that it sounds like he is readjusting to the natural formation of a new business model that looked very different for him – of mind – of body – of soul. Staying connected with the head-heart-gut. Whatever language you prefer. It is important to match your own evolution with awareness; otherwise, you will continue to hit the glass ceiling trying to fit into someone else’s vision. 

So when you stay connected, you will be in your free-flow zone and you will know exactly the right action to take in direct correlation with your inspirational vision. You will also hear the intuitiveness – the gut feelings – the hunches – knowing the right actions you need to take at the right time. Instead of the head taking over, you want your body to be connected and then you will naturally bring your strategic mind in through the body’s intelligence.  

Focus on your Priorities: Ink your Vision

One of the regular questions I ask clients is “Do you have a vision?” I get really excited when they can tell me clearly what their vision is. Then I ask, “Have you written it down?” 99.9% of the time the answer is NO – as their finger moves towards their head, and they tap their temple, saying, “It’s all in here,” with a huge proud smile on their face.  

There is a great motto that goes like this: “Ink what you think!” When you do write down your vision, goals, and action steps, they become clearer. As you write, you are affirming to your conscious and subconscious mind what you truly desire. I find that this is when the answers on how to achieve your vision also become clearer. When you keep everything in your head, it creates a feeling of overwhelming clutter, with the emotional reaction of “How am I going to fit it all in with so little time?” Sound familiar? 

You would be surprised at how many people I coach write down their vision, goals and inspired action steps at the start of their coaching journey and when the time comes for their coaching review, just how astounded they are as to how much they have achieved, even if they have not looked at the list since writing it. Just imagine what happens when you write down your vision, goals and inspired action steps, and look at them regularly to keep yourself on the path of achieving every one of them. 

Focus on your Priorities: Ink your Vision

For instance, I remember coaching Mary who expressed feelings of being overwhelmed because she had just moved interstate, had been promoted to a newly created position, was moving in with her new boyfriend and going through divorce proceedings. Wow! These are huge changes in anyone’s life, wouldn’t you agree? As Mary telephoned in for her next coaching session, which was an opportunity to review her achievements over the past three months, there was a note of disappointment in her voice as she said, “I haven’t had time to look at my goals”.  

As I had already reviewed her goals prior to her coaching session, I quickly reminded her of what she had actually achieved. As she pulled out her list of goals, she was pleasantly surprised to see that the goals she had written down matched up with the major changes happening in her life. 

The message I would like to leave you with is that we sometimes get so overwhelmed in life that we do not even acknowledge ourselves for what we are achieving on a daily basis. The feeling of being overwhelmed or stressed clouds the truth and we don’t get to see our own accomplishments. You can use those feelings as a signal to take a reality check and see what’s really going on.  

When you take the time out of your busy day to look at what you actually have accomplished, you will always be pleasantly surprised at just how much you have been in action with during your day. The problem is your main focus may be on what you still have not accomplished and this will always keep the clouds of disillusion over your eyes with the continual feeling of not getting anywhere in life. This is an illusion and a self-sabotage mechanism that is not the truth. Always remain focused on what you are taking action on each day, no matter what you are doing and acknowledge yourself for what you are accomplishing inside your day. 

Creating Emotional Intelligence and Mental Strength

Success in today’s market goes beyond intellectual intelligence and mental strength. In fact, emotional intelligence is the revolutionary leadership style built on futurist thinking that challenges the status quo of leadership, teamwork, management and partnership.

Studies have proven that people with high emotional intelligence have greater mental health, job performance and leadership skills.

Emotional intelligence has been around since the year dot. It has just been given a new label that can be heard and understood in the business world today.

Leadership language has changed over the last 10 years. We use to look at it in terms of data.  Now we look at it in terms of the story we tell. How to create a connection with the people we’re leading. We do that by being consciously aware of the choices we make every single day.

Emotional Intelligence is essential for excellence.

Emotional intelligence is the capability of individuals to recognize and understand your own emotions as well as others. Discern between different feelings, use emotional intelligence to guide thinking and behaviour, and manage and/or adjust emotions to adapt to environments or achieve one’s goals.

One of the greatest challenges when it comes to high emotional intelligence is recognizing the emotions of others and to be aware when your own internal reaction is happening. To remain still in mind and body, making sure you remain fully engaged and connected. Many struggle with this by reacting and disconnecting.

Creating Emotional Intelligence and Mental Strength

Why is emotional intelligence important?

An organization, which is emotionally intelligent, has staff that is motivated, productive, efficient, aligned with business and committed. This creates a team who are more effective, confident, likeable, happy and rewarded.

Emotional intelligence is applicable to every human interaction in business: from staff motivation to customer service, from brainstorming to company presentations. But the subject is far deeper and wider which affects the overall quality of your life.

Creating high emotional intelligence will develop greater awareness to understand and deal with:

  • how we assess people
  • how relationships develop
  • how our beliefs generate our experience
  • how to deal with resistance to change, power struggles, judgment, competition
  • how to access your vision, inspiring leadership, influential success, and much more.

A business, in which the staff is emotionally intelligent, is one, which enables them to work together to maximum effectiveness. This can only increase the organisation’s success.

What skills/knowledge will create high emotional intelligence?

  • Learn ways to better manage your emotional state creating self-motivation.
  • The ability to recognize and understand your own emotions, as well as others.
  • Develop interpersonal skills with greater self-awareness.
  • Learn skills to regulate your thoughts with natural empathy.
  • Identify what your focus blocks are and practice creating mental strength.
  • Gain conscious awareness of the thoughts, behaviours and who you are being.
  • Develop your unique ways to cope with stress and create more balance.
  • Learn to trust and act on your gut instincts and intuition.
  • Create stillness of mind for deeper listening to respond from a place of powerful presence.
  • Commit to full engagement by being present and connected.

The benefits of emotional intelligence:

  • Communicate more succinctly with everyone around you.
  • Better creativity and innovation.
  • Deepened level of employee commitment and engagement.
  • Improve your personal workplace performance.
  • Retention of valued employees.
  • Improved productivity and profitability.
  • Improved mental strength enhancing resiliency.
  • Improved communication and relating ability.
  • Harmonious culture and change management.
  • Fulfilling and connected relationships.
  • Authentic living.

If you know it is time to create high emotional intelligence and mental strength and become the person you know you truly want to be, contact me today for an introductory coaching conversation. www.annettestanton.com/contact/

Once you have read the article, leave a comment and let me know…

What’s the single most important action you can take right now towards creating high emotional intelligence and mental strength?

If you know of a leader who is being challenged and they know it is time to step up and lead with high emotional intelligence, please share this article.

Live a Stress Less Life

In your busy daily life, it is very important to make time for some form of relaxation. This can help to reduce the effects of stress on your body and your mind. If you take on the practice of daily relaxation, you will feel much more in control of your life. Relaxation involves both the body and the mind. To work on one is to work on the other. Even if you choose to take 10 deep conscious breaths every day as your form of relaxation, then that is better than doing nothing at all.

Relaxation does not mean being lazy. It plays an important role in the rejuvenation of your body and quietening of the mind. Taking time out for yourself may be a challenge for you. You might feel a sense of guilt about it. This is normal, especially if you are not yet practised in doing things just for you. You might even find that the challenge is in ‘being’ with yourself, especially if you are the type of person who continually needs to be ‘doing’ things with others or for others and the thought of being alone is not inviting. It does take practice and the more you do your chosen form of relaxation, the more you will want to spend time with yourself.

The benefits of daily relaxation go beyond the obvious one of reducing stress. You will also gain clarity of mind, your creativity and intuition will unfold, you will deal with challenges with much more inner peace, you will have more energy . . . the list goes on.

Live a Stress Life

 

Simple Relaxation Techniques

After many years of practising different quick and easy forms of relaxation, I would like to share with you some of the ones that have helped me to maintain a stress less life.

Mirror Work

Look into your eyes in the mirror every day for 1-2 minutes. Connect with yourself by staying focused on your eyes. Notice how you might want to judge yourself and your facial features. Let it go and keep coming back to your eyes. Take deep breaths whilst looking into your eyes and connecting with yourself. If you hear any negative head talk during this process, write it down after your 1-2 minutes is up and create positive affirmations from your negative head talk. This is your subconscious coming to the forefront, indicating beliefs that you may need to work on.

Conscious Breathing

Sit in an upright position or lie down. Close your eyes if you wish. Concentrate on your breathing, in through your nose and releasing the breath out through your mouth. Say in your head: “I’m breathing in . . . I’m breathing out . . .” as you stay focused on your breath. This will slow down your mind and reduce feelings of anxiety. Conscious breathing is beneficial if you are lying in bed and feeling restless. This will help you to relax for a better sleep. Try it.

Nostril Breathing

Place the thumb of your right hand over your right nostril. Take a deep breath in through the left nostril. Place the right index finger over the left nostril and release the breath out of the right nostril. Repeat this 5 times using your right hand, and then repeat the same process using your left hand. Notice how quickly any anxious feelings dissipate.

Open Eye Candle Meditation

Light your favourite candle and place it on a table in front of you. Place yourself in a comfortable sitting position with your back upright. Gaze into the flame of the candle. Take slow, long deep breaths as you hold a soft gaze on the flame. Notice the calm and serene feelings that pour through your body. Stay with the gaze from 5 minutes to 20 minutes or more if you desire.

Walking in Nature

When you are enjoying your daily walk out in the beautiful sunshine, practice being 100% present to nature. Let any thoughts drift through the mind and focus on the trees, the roses in the garden, all the nature surrounding you. Every step you take, be conscious and feel your body moving. Look into the sky and feel the expansion of your chest as you take in the next breath. The miracle of nature mirrors the growth of you. Just as through nurturing, a seed grows, so through nurturing yourself, you will flourish. Say your positive affirmations while you are walking and notice how tall you feel.

If you sick and tired of continually running on empty, feeling drained in your energy levels and this is affecting your productivity and efficiency at work with no energy left for yourself at the end of the day, contact me today for an introductory coaching conversation. www.annettestanton.com/contact/

Once you have read the article, leave a comment and let me know…

What’s the single most important action you can take right now towards creating a reserve of energy levels each day?

The Game Changer: Change your Life with Powerful Statements

Yes, you can change your life. I know this is a very profound statement and I say it because I have done it myself. Until I was about 30 years old, I was so shy that I hardly ever spoke, and I lived a lot of my life in my head. My only self-expression was through my physical body, as an excellent sportswoman.

I started to wonder why I could express myself naturally as a sportswoman, but not in my personal and professional life. This was a challenge to me because at that time I spent a lot of my life worrying about my past (which I could not do anything about) or thinking about the future (which had not even occurred yet).

As I observed myself in my sporting arena, what stood out the most was that I had to respond to the plays spontaneously in the moment, otherwise the opportunity was lost. That was my breakthrough! I was 100% present in the moment on and off the field as the captain coach, leading the team and holding on to the higher purpose of the game. Obviously, I had trained my level of fitness and skills to respond quickly.

My greatest challenge in my personal and professional life was living in the present moment. Once I started to practise being present, I began to hear my predominantly negative self-statements, which were obviously based on my fears of all the ‘what ifs’ (which, by the way, never happened). What a waste of energy and time in my life that was!

I decided it was time to get serious about this positive self-statement stuff! I admit I was still a little apprehensive about affirmations because I had attempted to do them a few years before, without success. Now I realise that I had always done them in a very reactive state when I either felt negative or frustrated – and that I’d soon given up, wondering why affirmations never worked for me.

Once I began to do my affirmations more effectively, I had to keep saying them, as the conscious mind will only take on the thoughts and words you consistently tell yourself. This will eventually become a part of who you are naturally, as a new – and rewarding – habit.

I will take you through the steps I took that helped me make the changes. To get the maximum from my experience, why not go through the steps with me now? I have used the true-life example of developing my self-confidence in my personal and professional life.

The Game Changer: Change your Life with Powerful Statements

Step 1

I wrote down the negative head talk and became conscious of what I was automatically saying to myself, about others and myself.

e.g. “I am not confident” . . .  “I wish I looked and acted confidently like her or him”  . . . “I am not very good at . . .”

Step 2

Then I changed the wording of those negative self-statements into positive present tense affirmations and wrote them on palm cards to keep in the office, car, fridge etc. as a reminder.

e.g.

I am confident

I act confidently

I am great at . . . 

Step 3

I chose to say the affirmations as many times as possible during my day no matter what. I said them with feeling, emotion and belief, as though I had already achieved them.

Tip:

Choose a maximum of three affirmations to say each time. If you do not feel comfortable with the affirmation, you may need to change the wording to suit you. Keep saying your chosen affirmations until you feel you own them and your life begins to show up that way.

Step 4

I asked myself, “Who do I need to become to achieve this?” Then I made a list of what confident people do, how they act, what they wear, how they walk. I started taking on all those actions, like walking tall down the street looking people in the eyes, smiling and acting confidently (yes, fake it until you make it – definitely works), speaking to people even when I felt nervous.

 

With daily commitment in practising to be confident, I built a new habit, which changed my life, and I naturally became confident. The new me went from being a shy person to becoming a public speaker, moving interstate and developing my first business, stepping out of my comfort zone and participating in adventurous events such as jumping out of a plane skydiving, just to mention a few.

I cannot tell you how long or short a time it took because there was no line to cross over that marked the difference between ‘shy’ and ‘confident’. I remember one day just noticing how confident I now was and it felt so natural and humbling.

We are all made up of our habits. I decided to make being confident a new habit, purely by taking on new behaviours and acting out ‘confidence’ until it was a part of who I naturally am today. If I can do it, I know you can too. Think about what habit you would like to change and start taking on the new actions until they are a part of who you are. Does a little part of my shyness still pop up in my life every so often? Yes! Of course, it does and in that moment I remind myself that I am not committed to being that way.

Who are you committed to being in your life? Become the game changer today!

If you know it is time to change your game in life and become the person you know you truly want to be, contact me today for an introductory coaching conversation. www.annettestanton.com/contact/

Once you have read the article, leave a comment and let me know…

What’s the single most important action you can take right now towards becoming the game changer in your life?

If you know of a leader who is being challenged and they know it is time to step up and become the game changer, please share this article.

High Emotional Intelligence for Next Level Success

Did you know that you will already have foundational systems in your everyday life that are working for you? The difference in growing upon your foundational success is whether you are conscious about the systems you do have that are working for you. Or are you living every moment unconsciously reacting to circumstances always looking at what is not working for you?

Foundational Success is the rock solid personal and professional systems you put in place so you have something solid to build on each and every day. Especially whenever challenges come your way, if you have your foundation set up in your whole life, then you will have a high emotional intelligence. When you have a high emotional intelligence you will stop reacting to life’s challenges and in that moment be calm enough to consciously choose your response.

Yes, you will be able to respond without reacting to the situation in front of you. Reactions to life’s challenges causes major stress and the seesaw feeling. Every action you take is a part of a system you have set up whether it be conscious or unconscious.

Start to become conscious about the systems that are already working for you and then take a look at the actions you are sporadically taking because of reactional thinking. Then decide whether there is a better way of implementing the action and if it needs to be a repetitive system for your success. In a nutshell, it is about knowing and living your standards (the things you will and won’t accept of yourself) combined with clear boundaries (the things you will and won’t accept of others) and having the courage to continually communicate these coming from love and respect for yourself and others.

Some of the many things that set you up for reactional thinking are:

  • Not setting up your day with priority actions and doing the important things first.
  • Not placing suitable time scheduling around your priorities.
  • Not living your own standards – being everything to everybody.
  • Getting into the habit of overpromising and under-delivering.
  • Holding back on clear communication – ‘playing the guessing and assuming game’.
  • Saying ‘Yes’ when you really want to say ‘No’.
  • Not setting clear defined boundaries coming from love and respect for yourself and others.
  • Not making quality time to chill out and be with your family and loved ones.
  • Not making time to do something for yourself each day that brings you joy, fun and lightness.
  • Not having a clear vision and being disorganised.
  • Living and working amongst clutter.

Here is a simple equation to remember for next level success with high emotional intelligence.

High Emotional Intelligence for Next Level Success

To capitalise on your resources, it is paramount to have high emotional intelligence. If not, then you may be sabotaging your next level success no matter how much work you put in on the outside. Begin to take stock by becoming consciously aware of your own reactions because they are an indication that you are not living your standards and you may be crossing your own boundaries and allowing others to cross them.

If your next level success is stagnant and you find yourself not standing on solid foundations with high emotional intelligence, contact me today for an introductory coaching conversation. www.annettestanton.com/contact/

Once you have read the article, leave a comment and let me know…

What’s the single most important action you can take right now towards building strong foundations with high emotional intelligence?

If you know of a leader or an emerging leader who is not playing a bigger a strong game through the power of high emotional intelligence, please share this article.