You may find yourself going through some sort of transition in life. If so, this is normally not an easy process as you may be facing the challenge of being in the ‘muddle’ of life. One moment feeling like you have it all handled, and the next, wondering what happened!
Who am I now? You may be asking! What are my next steps? What happened to the clarity of direction you may have had in the past? I have often felt like I have hit a brick wall with clarity turning into a haze of uncertainty. On many an occasion when facing transitions in life, I have often caught myself asking these very profound questions.
The most challenging and rewarding path is our evolving transitions in life. Some of the many evolving paths I have personally witnessed is the transition of being married to then going through divorce, from being employed in a large organization to starting my own business, from health and wellbeing challenges to guilt-free self care, from financial security to financial uncertainty and many more.
The Power of Uncertainty and Vulnerability
During these transitional times, my clarity of direction in life always went through a dark tunnel of uncertainty and vulnerability. The truth is, I never made it easy on myself because I would always resist the change. This would cause greater stress, anxiety and overwhelm in my mind and body, which never made it a quicker journey towards reaching a new normal.
I always found that there was light at the end of this dark tunnel when allowing myself to be patient inside of the feelings of uncertainty. As I would continue to focus on what I was certain about inside my life right here and now, this would help me to stay present to what was already working in my life.
I knew my habitual personality was to create strategies and work it all out. I was committed to doing things differently without the push, strive and drive. To allow new insight and awareness to come to me at the time it is meant to. To trust that there is a powerful learning lesson inside this transition and if I push it, I will only make it harder to learn the lesson.
To remind myself that there is light inside this dark tunnel and not to push for results.
I would remind myself of the saying…
“You may not always get what you think you want,
but you will always get what you need for your highest evolution.”
I always found myself peacefully coming out the other end with greater awareness and insight into the next phase of life with a deeper knowing of what was right for me at that stage of my life.
We know that change and transitioning is a part of life, so why do we sometimes hang on to the same old story keeping us from living a successful and fulfilling life?
If you are hanging on to a story of what success is meant to look like, like I did, then it will take a very long time to see the learning lessons and ways to create a new life with this new awareness, knowledge and insightful wisdom.
When going through the muddle of a life changing transition, it can cause many fearful feelings of self-doubt, overwhelm, disappointment, uncertainty and vulnerability. If you are use to having success in your life, without the challenges that will cause you to gain new insight about yourself, then you may get stuck in your thinking and automatic action processes, limiting your full potential.
Are You Really Living your Purposeful Path?
The natural evolution of transitioning is important for the exponential growth of your purpose. You may be on the wrong track and something will interrupt your habitual path in order for you to gain greater insight into your real self. To create the space and time needed, to allow yourself to develop new ways of creating a life and business you love to live from inside out.
For many years, I followed a path of what I thought success looked like. I realized that I had developed this picture due to unmet needs of being liked, accepted, loved, respected, acknowledged, valued etc. When I met those needs intrinsically, that is when I was able to clearly see and feel my purposeful path of inspiring others to tune into being an expression of their real self.
I needed to clean up my own needs to get myself out of the way. In other words, I was able to hear my calling instead of what I thought I needed to do to be successful. This came in the way of clear next steps, one step at a time.
Become Your Own Best Friend
So if you are going through a transition as we speak, allow yourself to feel the space of vulnerability and uncertainty. Become your own best friend inside this space and make sure you do not try to fill the space up with old habits. Feel the space and acknowledge every single feeling coming up inside of you (yes, be with your feelings and do not squash them down or push them aside).
Speak kindly and gently to your fears and doubts with support and guidance just like you would a scared child. This is exactly what I did. Instead of making my feelings wrong and burying them by pushing harder, I decided to become my own best friend and speak to myself with a supportive, kind and loving voice.
If you continue to beat yourself up with the old theory of ‘no pain – no gain’ (like I use to), then you will find yourself trying harder and harder in life to achieve. This will keep you on the treadmill of continually hitting the glass ceiling and feeling exhausted each day. Your health and wellbeing will definitely suffer. This will affect the quality of your relationships at home and at work.
As I mentioned to a colleague this week, who is going through a transition
at this time in her life, to make sure she ‘feels the space’ – ‘not fill the space’.
Myth: Busy is the New Black
Too often I have felt lazy if I was not keeping busy or feeling like I was not being productive. When in actual fact I was living a false sense of productivity. This was my ego habitual self and not the truth to getting to know my whole self.
We are too quick to get on the busy path, instead of allowing the space to guide us one step at a time. Your inspiring vision will come to you when you stay in a state of ease, flow and stillness.
Ask yourself these 5 questions if feeling challenged right now:
- What meaning am I making from this event/change?
- What am I learning about myself in who I am being and how I am acting or reacting?
- Why am I acting this way and what new insight have I gained?
- Who do I choose to become now that I know this about myself?
- What new actions am I going to take to support my new commitment?