Real Engagement: Connecting with your Personal Standards

I’m sitting here in my office waiting for a client to call in and I just had a thought about a conversation I had yesterday with a client. One of the things that she noticed was her habit of reacting to circumstances and situations that were occurring with her clients. She realized that this was a habit, not just with her clients, but it was a lifelong habit. So, in other words, she felt like she was being defensive in her mind and thinking things, and making stuff up, that wasn’t true.

Now we all can easily do that, as we all have habits that do not serve us. We’ve all got thoughts going on. We are all trying to prove ourselves in some way and literally we’re exhausting ourselves. One of the things that we were able to have a discussion about was exactly that. Exploring in what way she could catch herself whenever something external occurred, a question even, not to make it about her professional standards.

One of the things that we identified also when it comes to professional standards, and yes there are legal professional standards that clients need to abide by and there’s also personal standards. Personal standards are where you know exactly what has you be your best and how you work best with your customers. This will be unique to you.

How do you find out? You’re customers will start asking you questions. You’ll start getting peeved off about something that your customer might be speaking about, doing something that irks you or rubs you up the wrong way. So this is about really tapping into how best you work and how best you communicate with your clients so that you can identify if they are the ideal clients for you.

I just want to come back to that area of personal standards. Personal standards are what you will and won’t accept of yourself. Boundaries are what you will and won’t accept of others. When you get upset about something or reacting to a situation that you are pointing the finger about, as in the case yesterday with this client who was pointing the finger towards his client, saying things like; this client was not treating me like a professional, he was questioning my professional standards etc.

The first thing is not to take it personally. I know it is easier said than done. We’re all human. We all are. But it is being able to be the observer of, and separating your personality self, whilst being inside the conversation in a neutral tone of voice. Being neutral inside your energy and vibration so that you are in alignment and not reacting. Because ultimately when you are pointing the finger, anything that is happening that you are reacting to externally, is something for you to learn about your own personal standards and your own personal boundaries.

It is then that you will be able to clearly articulate to your customers how best you work, whom you want to work with that brings out your best for the expanding vision and growth of the company.

Getting to know yourself well enough in all those areas is vital to your success and fulfillment.

  • What are your boundaries?
  • What are your personal standards?

Yes, definitely know your professional standards as well.

One of the things we noticed also inside this coaching conversation was the value of really tapping into the humanness of the client. Finding out why they got into business? What makes them tick? What is it that they’re passionate about inside of the why of their chosen business? So that you are connecting with them at a real engaging level. People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.

One of the other things my client realised was how quickly she was stepping straight into her professionalism, sharing and proving herself as to what she could do to support the client. Yes rightly so, but there’s a couple of steps before that and that’s the human connection. So connecting with the person as a human being asking them deeper exploratory questions like…

“What got them into this business in the first place?”

“Why did you choose this particular business?”

“What is your personal and professional vision?”

“What is it about your services/products that transformed their life?”

“When were you first intrigued about this service/product?”

There will be something that links the Why of that business owner to which they might have even forgotten about because they are panicking about cash flow. They may be panicking about how to get the business growing. Or possibly panicking about staff and team, and everything it takes to run a sustainable business.

We do need all of these to be functioning well. But if there’s panic going on every step of the way then you lose touch, you disconnect from who you truly are and why you got into business in the first place. Then you are not able to clearly clarify your needs when you bring the people in, whether it’s the team, the staff, the contractors, and those people that will help you when you are clear on what it is that you need.

Where I’m coming from here is from my client’s point of view and that is you’ve got to know what it is that has you tick. What are your personal standards? What are your boundaries? Why did you step into business in the first place? What are you passionate about with your own business?

This is paramount because your own energy and vibration will transfer onto the clients you want to attract. Then you will be able to easily engage as a human being with those customers, which is what I call ‘client for life’. Whether they employ you immediately or not, they will remember you on how you engaged with them at a human level.

For more information about this subject or if you would like to find out how you can work with me, contact http://annettestanton.com/contact/

Live a Stress Less Life

In your busy daily life, it is very important to make time for some form of relaxation. This can help to reduce the effects of stress on your body and your mind. If you take on the practice of daily relaxation, you will feel much more in control of your life. Relaxation involves both the body and the mind. To work on one is to work on the other. Even if you choose to take 10 deep conscious breaths every day as your form of relaxation, then that is better than doing nothing at all.

Relaxation does not mean being lazy. It plays an important role in the rejuvenation of your body and quietening of the mind. Taking time out for yourself may be a challenge for you. You might feel a sense of guilt about it. This is normal, especially if you are not yet practised in doing things just for you. You might even find that the challenge is in ‘being’ with yourself, especially if you are the type of person who continually needs to be ‘doing’ things with others or for others and the thought of being alone is not inviting. It does take practice and the more you do your chosen form of relaxation, the more you will want to spend time with yourself.

The benefits of daily relaxation go beyond the obvious one of reducing stress. You will also gain clarity of mind, your creativity and intuition will unfold, you will deal with challenges with much more inner peace, you will have more energy . . . the list goes on.

Live a Stress Life

 

Simple Relaxation Techniques

After many years of practising different quick and easy forms of relaxation, I would like to share with you some of the ones that have helped me to maintain a stress less life.

Mirror Work

Look into your eyes in the mirror every day for 1-2 minutes. Connect with yourself by staying focused on your eyes. Notice how you might want to judge yourself and your facial features. Let it go and keep coming back to your eyes. Take deep breaths whilst looking into your eyes and connecting with yourself. If you hear any negative head talk during this process, write it down after your 1-2 minutes is up and create positive affirmations from your negative head talk. This is your subconscious coming to the forefront, indicating beliefs that you may need to work on.

Conscious Breathing

Sit in an upright position or lie down. Close your eyes if you wish. Concentrate on your breathing, in through your nose and releasing the breath out through your mouth. Say in your head: “I’m breathing in . . . I’m breathing out . . .” as you stay focused on your breath. This will slow down your mind and reduce feelings of anxiety. Conscious breathing is beneficial if you are lying in bed and feeling restless. This will help you to relax for a better sleep. Try it.

Nostril Breathing

Place the thumb of your right hand over your right nostril. Take a deep breath in through the left nostril. Place the right index finger over the left nostril and release the breath out of the right nostril. Repeat this 5 times using your right hand, and then repeat the same process using your left hand. Notice how quickly any anxious feelings dissipate.

Open Eye Candle Meditation

Light your favourite candle and place it on a table in front of you. Place yourself in a comfortable sitting position with your back upright. Gaze into the flame of the candle. Take slow, long deep breaths as you hold a soft gaze on the flame. Notice the calm and serene feelings that pour through your body. Stay with the gaze from 5 minutes to 20 minutes or more if you desire.

Walking in Nature

When you are enjoying your daily walk out in the beautiful sunshine, practice being 100% present to nature. Let any thoughts drift through the mind and focus on the trees, the roses in the garden, all the nature surrounding you. Every step you take, be conscious and feel your body moving. Look into the sky and feel the expansion of your chest as you take in the next breath. The miracle of nature mirrors the growth of you. Just as through nurturing, a seed grows, so through nurturing yourself, you will flourish. Say your positive affirmations while you are walking and notice how tall you feel.

If you sick and tired of continually running on empty, feeling drained in your energy levels and this is affecting your productivity and efficiency at work with no energy left for yourself at the end of the day, contact me today for an introductory coaching conversation. www.annettestanton.com/contact/

Once you have read the article, leave a comment and let me know…

What’s the single most important action you can take right now towards creating a reserve of energy levels each day?

Annette Stanton

“I see a world where leaders are being called to step up and out - to lead from their authentic self with greater connection.

My mission is to activate revolutionary leadership across the globe where leaders are living their highest vision and purposeful mission every day.”

Contact Annette
  • +61 8 9437 4820
  • annette@annettestanton.com