Real Engagement: Connecting with your Personal Standards

I’m sitting here in my office waiting for a client to call in and I just had a thought about a conversation I had yesterday with a client. One of the things that she noticed was her habit of reacting to circumstances and situations that were occurring with her clients. She realized that this was a habit, not just with her clients, but it was a lifelong habit. So, in other words, she felt like she was being defensive in her mind and thinking things, and making stuff up, that wasn’t true.

Now we all can easily do that, as we all have habits that do not serve us. We’ve all got thoughts going on. We are all trying to prove ourselves in some way and literally we’re exhausting ourselves. One of the things that we were able to have a discussion about was exactly that. Exploring in what way she could catch herself whenever something external occurred, a question even, not to make it about her professional standards.

One of the things that we identified also when it comes to professional standards, and yes there are legal professional standards that clients need to abide by and there’s also personal standards. Personal standards are where you know exactly what has you be your best and how you work best with your customers. This will be unique to you.

How do you find out? You’re customers will start asking you questions. You’ll start getting peeved off about something that your customer might be speaking about, doing something that irks you or rubs you up the wrong way. So this is about really tapping into how best you work and how best you communicate with your clients so that you can identify if they are the ideal clients for you.

I just want to come back to that area of personal standards. Personal standards are what you will and won’t accept of yourself. Boundaries are what you will and won’t accept of others. When you get upset about something or reacting to a situation that you are pointing the finger about, as in the case yesterday with this client who was pointing the finger towards his client, saying things like; this client was not treating me like a professional, he was questioning my professional standards etc.

The first thing is not to take it personally. I know it is easier said than done. We’re all human. We all are. But it is being able to be the observer of, and separating your personality self, whilst being inside the conversation in a neutral tone of voice. Being neutral inside your energy and vibration so that you are in alignment and not reacting. Because ultimately when you are pointing the finger, anything that is happening that you are reacting to externally, is something for you to learn about your own personal standards and your own personal boundaries.

It is then that you will be able to clearly articulate to your customers how best you work, whom you want to work with that brings out your best for the expanding vision and growth of the company.

Getting to know yourself well enough in all those areas is vital to your success and fulfillment.

  • What are your boundaries?
  • What are your personal standards?

Yes, definitely know your professional standards as well.

One of the things we noticed also inside this coaching conversation was the value of really tapping into the humanness of the client. Finding out why they got into business? What makes them tick? What is it that they’re passionate about inside of the why of their chosen business? So that you are connecting with them at a real engaging level. People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.

One of the other things my client realised was how quickly she was stepping straight into her professionalism, sharing and proving herself as to what she could do to support the client. Yes rightly so, but there’s a couple of steps before that and that’s the human connection. So connecting with the person as a human being asking them deeper exploratory questions like…

“What got them into this business in the first place?”

“Why did you choose this particular business?”

“What is your personal and professional vision?”

“What is it about your services/products that transformed their life?”

“When were you first intrigued about this service/product?”

There will be something that links the Why of that business owner to which they might have even forgotten about because they are panicking about cash flow. They may be panicking about how to get the business growing. Or possibly panicking about staff and team, and everything it takes to run a sustainable business.

We do need all of these to be functioning well. But if there’s panic going on every step of the way then you lose touch, you disconnect from who you truly are and why you got into business in the first place. Then you are not able to clearly clarify your needs when you bring the people in, whether it’s the team, the staff, the contractors, and those people that will help you when you are clear on what it is that you need.

Where I’m coming from here is from my client’s point of view and that is you’ve got to know what it is that has you tick. What are your personal standards? What are your boundaries? Why did you step into business in the first place? What are you passionate about with your own business?

This is paramount because your own energy and vibration will transfer onto the clients you want to attract. Then you will be able to easily engage as a human being with those customers, which is what I call ‘client for life’. Whether they employ you immediately or not, they will remember you on how you engaged with them at a human level.

For more information about this subject or if you would like to find out how you can work with me, contact http://annettestanton.com/contact/

Mindset Growth: Notice the Distractions

When it comes to mindset growth there are 4 aspects to this: mind, body, heart and soul and how do you link with these. One of the ways is to stay connected.

I was asked the question inside a workshop this morning …

“How does one stay connected with the whole mindset growth and what are some of the things you can do?”

My response was …

“What I suggest is that you write a love list.”

A love list is where you go naturally, those things you enjoy doing, those activities you love to do; for example, going for a walk or a run, walking the dog in nature, journal writing, meditation, de-cluttering space etc. Anywhere you go to where you tend to find yourself in a space of your own. You are in your zone.

Creating a love list can also include things like eating healthy foods, getting plenty of sleep at night etc. something that gives you natural energy. You can call this an energizing habit that really keeps you grounded and focused.

Inside this group I also mentioned the importance of noticing what your distractions are. Most people are not aware of what distracts them. They tend to get caught up in their head and then notice they are off path with their mindset and focus all over the place. By making a list of those things that has you become distracted, will actually help you with your mindset and focus skills.

Things like; being online too much, checking your emails too often, being in reaction mode, comparing yourself with others in your industry, doing too much research and getting yourself off your path. Finding yourself going down a rabbit warren and losing focus of your purposeful business path and your obvious next steps.

When you start to compare yourself, that makes it a lot harder for you to create a deeper believability, and the head talk being louder which can play tricks on you. By creating a love list and a not so love list, noticing what those distractions are, will actually help you to stay on your mindset growth path. This will give you a clear focus in all areas of your life.

Enjoy watching my video on ways to eliminate your distractions and to stay focused with clarity.

If you have any queries around this very subject, please feel free to contact me directly on http://annettestanton.com/contact/

Visioning: The Power of Living and Working in the Zone

In the fast pace of life and business today, it is easy to get caught up in reaction mode with a false sense of productivity. This makes getting into their zone quite challenging for best results. Clients are always pleasantly surprised just how much more they can achieve, in less time and with less effort, when they are working and living in the zone.

As a champion sportswoman many years ago, peak performance and full potential were evident when ‘playing in the zone’.

Are you being productive utilizing your full potential in the zone?

Do you actually know what your zone is and how to get into the zone?

I remember having a ritual in preparation for game day. This ritual consisted of listening to upbeat music, I would prepare my gear the night before, I did not go out the night before, I would speak positive to myself, I would eat certain foods before the game, I would do deep breathing exercises, I would warm up my body and my mind before the official warm up. Doing these helped me to get into the zone before stepping on the field.

I was always researching ways to improve my standard to move beyond peak performance in the zone. The most powerful tool I have ever used which I learnt over 30 years ago was visioning.

My national trainer told me the story about where Olympic athletes had used visual rehearsal in their mind of the event using all their senses as a part of their training. Evidence had revealed that every muscle in their body was activated to the same degree of exertion as though they were running the event. I then decided to use this tool everyday for my national training.

I would visualize my performance on the field, the team plays I wanted to run, I would see myself scoring touchdowns in my mind, I saw myself winning fairest and best, being in the zone, playing with confidence and leading the team to win.

My trainer also suggested that I record my voice saying positive performance statements and to listen to them every night as I was going to sleep. This would program my belief system to support my mind and body to perform at peak level. I developed persistence and a greater sense of self-belief, which kept me in the zone and focused for the whole game.

I am clear that these tools were a major part of my winning formula that supported me physically, mentally and emotionally. I was able to keep moving forward, to say focused on the game, to support and back up team members, to get on with the game if a play did not come off the first time, to continue to get back up if I took a hit.

I have been using this same winning formula, which has contributed to my extraordinary professional and personal success.

Just like in sport, it is very powerful to live and work in the zone. It is important to get to know the best way for you to put yourself into the zone for greater focus. Knowing when you are in action, there is a particular zone that you need to be in to perform at peak level continually. You need to know how to set up the environment in a way where there are no distractions. Your mindset needs to be in a state of laser like focus and the energy you bring forth into every action your take needs to be grounded and clear.

When living and working in the zone there is a flow that occurs which I call the ‘free-flow zone’. The more you practice being in your zone you will notice a presence that is much more powerful because of who you are being, not just by what you are doing or saying.

There is a deeper level to that, but mainly it is all about really staying connected from within. Leading and living from the heart, trust your gut, that instinctual part of you, then taking action that connects with the whole you.

 

 

Seize the Day: The Power of Being Fully Present

How often do you live in the present moment? Or do you notice that you live in the past? Or does the ‘yet to happen’ future fill up your thoughts every moment of the day, while life is passing you by?

When I was first asked this question, I had no idea what the question actually meant. This past, present and future stuff just did not resonate with my consciousness at the time. I was living my life so unconsciously – always in the past or the future, never in the present.

My head was always busy thinking about what I could have or should have done in the past or how I was going to do it all differently in the future. I missed out on a lot of fun and spontaneity in life, though since then I have made up for a lot of lost time, simply by being present.

In the next section, I will share with you how I started practising living in the present moment and got out of living in my head. For the first time in my life, I realised just how much my inner dialogue, based on false beliefs, was running my life. So, learn from your past, take off your rose-coloured ‘future’ glasses – and enjoy the fun and spontaneity of living fully now.

Seize the Day: The Power of Being Fully Present

The Gift of Being Present

Imagine you are in a 747 plane, sitting near the wing. You look outside the aircraft and to your shock; notice that the wings are on fire. The captain’s voice comes over the sound system: “This is your captain speaking. I have an emergency announcement. The wings are on fire and we are going down fast. Please listen very carefully to my instructions for your survival.” What would you do? I know I would take in every single word the captain was about to say.

What if you decided to listen to everyone in your life in exactly the same way? This is what I consciously decided to start practising . . . to listen as though the wings are on fire!

After practising listening as though the wings were on fire with everyone who spoke to me, I experienced the gift of living fully in the present moment. I can honestly tell you that I felt numb to life, until I started being present. My head was constantly filled with loud internal conversations that directed my actions, without my knowing it. The most challenging thing in my life would have to be practising living in the present moment.

Once I did this, however, the gift I received was two-fold. First, I started listening to people without the inner conversation that took me away from really connecting with them. Then I noticed how they were asking about my life and taking a genuine interest in me, because of the connection I now had with them.

It took persistent practice on my part, but over time I received the most precious gift of all: I found that the more I connected with people, the more I connected with myself. When I connected with myself, a free flow of energy occurred and I naturally started attracting the right people and opportunities into my life.

If you are ready to play a bigger and stronger game with a powerful vision, contact me today for an introductory coaching conversation. www.annettestanton.com/contact/

Once you have read the article, leave a comment and let me know…

What’s the single most important action you can take right now towards creating momentum in playing a bigger and stronger game through the power of presence?

If you know of a leader who has a vision and is struggling with creating momentum because they are not present to their next steps, please share this article.

Powerful Benefits inside of Everyday Visioning

Having your own vision gives you more purpose and meaning to life. A vision will support you in times of doubt, especially when you face challenges and you start to question the who, what, and how you want to live your life, based on what’s most important to you. Having a vision will help you to maintain your focus and achieve your personal and professional ambitions.

When I first started my coaching business and had times of challenges and self-doubt, my own coach would always ask me to read my vision. There were times when I really did not want to do this because of the uncertainty I held on to in that moment.

What I found, however, was that reading my vision brought me back into the present and stopped the frustration and the sense of being overwhelmed. Most of all, it reminded me of what was truly important to me now. That helped me see that the challenge I was dealing with at that time was insignificant in the big scheme of my vision. In that instant, I always found a way of managing the challenge with ease.

Powerful Benefits inside of Everyday Visioning

Did you know that you already visualise every day, as you think about the daily activities that may need to be done? What happens is, you go into ‘automatic action mode’ to get through your day. The thought processes you have every moment of your day are sending messages to your brain, which then activates the body into taking an action.

All your daily actions, like eating breakfast, driving the kids to school, driving to work, reacting to traffic, choosing what to wear, going to the gym or for a walk outdoors, will always have a vision through your mind’s eye first, before you take action.

What is important about this process is that you notice what thoughts you are processing and especially the energy you attach to your thoughts. If you have a negative emotion driving your actions, then that is what you will attract. Guess what! If you have a positive enthusiastic energy behind your daily actions, then you will always attract positive experiences. As you step into your day, start noticing where you are placing your attention and practice visualising your day with enthusiasm. This will give you the confidence to create your vision beyond your everyday activities.

Everyday Visioning Tip

When you go to bed at night and your head relaxes on the pillow, consciously take some deep breaths with your eyes closed. Focus on your breathing as you begin to relax your mind, then visualise your next day the way you would like it to go – being confident at meetings, flowing through your day, asserting yourself with good energy, inspiring your team, working in the zone, communication with your family, remaining calm and relaxed etc. Allow yourself to relax into your visualisation as you fall into a peaceful sleep.

If you are ready to play a bigger and stronger game with a powerful vision, contact me today for an introductory coaching conversation. www.annettestanton.com/contact/

Once you have read the article, leave a comment and let me know…

What’s the single most important action you can take right now towards playing a bigger and stronger game in business, leadership and life?

If you know of a leader or an emerging leader who is not playing a bigger and stronger game inside their powerful vision, please share this article.

Playing a Bigger and Stronger Game with a Powerful Vision

When reflecting on the many achievements in my professional and personal life, I could not understand why I did not feel happy, fulfilled or good enough, no matter how much I accomplished. I realised I had limited my vision of success to achieving tangible results and was still yearning for more.

As I reflected back on my sporting days, the vision I had was quite limited because it was mainly about achieving recognition through winning fairest and best and being selected for state and national teams.

The most memorable times I have are the natural contributing actions I undertook and the real connection I had with the team and coach such as team members asking if they could join me in extra training sessions. I would coach them to believe in their ability and train them physically in the areas they needed improvement. I also remember how much I enjoyed the team camaraderie – before, during and after training sessions and games.

In other words, I enjoyed the activities along the way in my physical senses, whilst my head was focusing on the bigger picture. I was not fully present in the joy of the real journey and not aware of the things I loved about playing sport. I was disconnected.

This was a real wake-up call especially because I noticed I was living my whole life like this. I then decided to change my vision and goal setting process, ensuring it honoured my heart’s vision and values from the inside out and the outside in.

Playing a Bigger and Stronger Game with a Powerful Vision

Going a little deeper into the area of vision, the most powerful and defining vision question I was asked more than 15 years ago was, “What do you want for yourself and others in the world?” This gave me a profound shift in the way I processed and thought about vision and goal setting. Instantly my vision became so much bigger than me.

I learnt when you know who you are, why you do what you do, and what you want for yourself and others in life, you can then be clearer on your purposeful path in life. You will know exactly what career path to step into, or what business to create fulfilling your heart’s vision and you’re why. You will create connected relationships at work and at home. You will enjoy your work and your relationships knowing it is an extension of who you really are.  http://annettestanton.com.au/vision/

The Heart’s Vision Model

The Heart Vision Model

Create your heart’s vision with realistic goals; devise an action plan consisting of specific daily actions for the whole of your life, and you will witness consistent results.

Your vision is not just about accumulating stuff; getting the next award, improved relationships, new career, or the next leadership role. Your vision is a true expression of your goals, values and actions that give you your mission and purpose in life.

Your goals are a specific breakdown of your vision with your action plan being your specific daily steps to take, knowing you are acting each day on your vision, values and goals. 

I share this because you never know where your journey will take you. Dream it, keep doing the things you love, create momentum by consistently being in action and the opportunities will open up for you. I believe opportunities are everywhere. The key is whether you are consciously a witness to them by being fully present. If you are focusing on what’s not happening or what’s missing in your professional and personal life, then you will be totally unaware of the next opportunity right in front of you.

The World Masters was not on my radar. I did not learn about it until I was holidaying in Canada. I heard about it in Vancouver, through meeting a group of Aussies, and I asked if they knew if touch football was played at the World Masters. They did not know so when I returned to Australia I did some research and discovered the sport was still quite young in other areas of the world. So I let it go.

I then moved to Queensland and joined the local team, which had many Australian players. In 1994, I was asked to be a part of a team being recruited for the World Masters. The rest, as they say, is history. We won gold and became World Masters Champions.

If you are ready to play a bigger and stronger game with a powerful vision, contact me today for an introductory coaching conversation. www.annettestanton.com/contact/

Once you have read the article, leave a comment and let me know…

What’s the single most important action you can take right now towards playing a bigger and stronger game with your powerful vision?

If you know of a leader or an emerging leader who is not playing a bigger and stronger game inside their powerful vision, please share this article.

Annette Stanton

“I see a world where leaders are being called to step up and out - to lead from their authentic self with greater connection.

My mission is to activate revolutionary leadership across the globe where leaders are living their highest vision and purposeful mission every day.”

Contact Annette
  • +61 8 9437 4820
  • annette@annettestanton.com